


Seasons

by starlightpeddler



Series: The Quietly Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Scorbus, Scorpius and Albus need to get their act together, Teen Angst, Unrequited Love, precious little cinnamon rolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8169757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightpeddler/pseuds/starlightpeddler
Summary: From the moment Scorpius and Albus get on the Hogwarts Express for their fifth year, things start to change. Albus starts to gain confidence both in the classroom and out of it, and Scorpius’ realization that he has greater feelings for his best friend threatens to leave him more alone than he’d ever imagined.  (Prequel to ‘Quietly’)





	1. Summer

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Seasons (Übersetzung)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10871391) by [Silent_Storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_Storm/pseuds/Silent_Storm)



> This is a 4-chapter story that leads up to 'Quietly.'

The Platform was crowded. It was always crowded, but Scorpius didn’t mind. He liked seeing people and their excitement as they looked forward to the journey to Hogwarts. His father pushed the trolley ahead of him through the crowd, waiting as the younger children passed in front of him, and Scorpius stood on his toes, scanning the crowd.

“Are you sure you packed everything?” Draco asked for the fifth time. As they crossed through the crowd of hugging families and excited reunions, Scorpius noticed that his father was drawing a lot of looks, and it was obvious why. They were surrounded by bright colors - students sporting their house garb and parents getting the last use of their summer clothes, all light and happiness, and Draco’s black suit seemed so dark that it nearly absorbed the sunlight streaming in from the glass ceiling.

“Yes, dad,” Scorpius said, exasperated, his nose wrinkled with dissatisfaction. He didn’t see any of the Potters, and his heart sank a bit. It had been an entire summer held up in the Malfoy Manor with barely any excursions, and the only thing he’d been looking forward to was going back to school where he could at least roam about freely with Albus.

Scorpius and Draco lifted his trunk off the trolley and slid it into one of the holding compartments beneath the train, and Scorpius grabbed his bag off the cart and slung it over his shoulder, looking across all the faces again.

At his side, Draco let out a long sigh.

“You look excited to be going back.”

“Oh, I am,” said Scorpius, realizing too late that his words could have been hurtful. “I mean, I enjoyed spending time with you. And reading. And reorganizing the library. All of it.”

Scorpius’ cheeks flushed red as he realized his backtracking was useless and he looked down at his shoes.

“I’ll miss you,” Scorpius said finally, and it was true. In keeping Scorpius on the Malfoy estate, Draco had ensured forced quality time with his son, and in some ways, Scorpius though it helped them both - especially when they finally went through his mother’s things.

“That’s the Stockholm Syndrome talking,” said Draco, and Scorpius smiled at him. He was still surprised when his father made jokes, but since it was happening more frequently, he figured he’d have to get used to it.

“No,” assured Scorpius. “I mean, I would have much rather been able to actually _go_ to the bookstore, rather than have the books sent, but it wasn’t so bad.”

“I just want to keep you safe,” said Draco. He placed his hand on Scorpius’ shoulder and their eyes met - something that told Scorpius he needed to pay attention to his father’s next words. “You’re the only family I have. And you gave me quite a scare last year.”

“I know,” said Scorpius. “Only Malfoy heir and all that.”

“No,” said Draco. “You’re all I have, Scorpius. So if I’m over protective, please understand why.”

Scorpius smiled at him warmly and wrapped his arms around his father’s torso, hugging him tight. He’d gotten taller in the last year, but his head still only reached his father’s shoulder, and it was a comfortable place to be.

“You’ve grown up so much,” said Draco, kissing the top of Scorpius’ head, and Scorpius knew his classmates could see, but he didn’t care. He'd rather be bullied for having a loving father than being Voldemort's heir.

“That’s what happens when you keep feeding me broccoli,” Scorpius told him, and Draco chuckled. It was difficult to get a laugh out of him still, but that didn’t stop Scorpius from trying.

Draco released him and smoothed Scorpius’ hair down just in time for Albus to come rushing in from the crowd and hug Scorpius so aggressively that it messed up his hair again and knocked the wind out of him.

“Albus!”

“Scorpius!”

Albus released him and the look of elation on his face was infectious, and Scorpius grinned too. His best friend’s eyes were bright and his nose was dusted with summer freckles and a light sunburn. He was still in his muggle clothes, and Scorpius could see he’d grown over the summer too.

“Did you get taller?”

“Nah, I was just flying a lot. Apparently it wasn’t a lie when they told us physical activity would make us stronger.”

Scorpius laughed and Albus looked at Draco as if he was just noticing he was there.

“Mr. Malfoy. It’s good to see you,” said Albus politely. “I’m sorry if I interrupted.”

“It’s fine, Albus,” Draco said kindly as Harry and Albus’ siblings appeared with a cart stacked high with trunks and bags.

“Malfoys,” greeted Harry.

“Potters,” returned Draco. Scorpius waved at James and Lily, who were both looking equally sunburnt and summery.

“Hello!”

“Malfoy,” said James coolly.

“Hi, Scorpius.” Lily had always been a bit more than cordial to him, and Scorpius knew Albus appreciated it on his behalf.

“Have a nice summer?”

“Yes,” said Lily brightly. “We played a lot of Quidditch.”

“Albus actually isn’t a bad seeker,” Harry told Draco. “He might make the Slytherin team this year.”

Albus blushed as his father bragged, and Scorpius looked at him, bewildered.

“You don’t even like Quidditch.”

“I didn’t like Quidditch on the principle that I was _supposed_ to like it,” Albus mumbled to him. “Turns out I actually enjoy playing.”

“It doesn’t hurt that both our parents played,” said James. “Though I’m not sure mum’s managed to catch the Snitch herself recently, so she's not much help for a seeker.”

“It was really great watching her and Rose play against each other,” said Lily, bouncing. “She says Rose might even go pro someday. Speaking of - where are they?”

Scorpius watched as James and Albus craned about, looking for their cousins. They were so different, both on the surface and beneath it. James looked friendly and bold, and with his coppery hair in longer curls now, he looked more like a lion than ever - something Scorpius suspected was intentional.

Albus, on the other hand, was full of stark contrasts - black hair on paler skin with startling green eyes and straighter features. Though his moodiness had quelled in the last year after the time-turner incident gave him some perspective, Scorpius was often reminded of their roommate Flint’s words one night when Albus was in one of his terser moods -

_Careful there. You might fall and cut yourself on Albus._

He didn’t look so jagged now, Scorpius thought, as he stood on his toes and spotted his family, waving to them. He was still tense - Albus was _always_ tense - but he seemed, in some way, a bit more composed.

Scorpius saw Ron first and straightened himself, tugging his shirt down and into place and smoothing his hair back into place.

Rose emerged behind her family, wearing her Quidditch jumper over a pair of jeans with her bright red curls tied back, and Scorpius grinned at her.

“Hello, Rose!” he said brightly, his voice cracking a bit.

Puberty, he’d found, was rather heartless.

“Scorpius,” Rose said with a nod. She had her broom over her back and looked like she could take to the skies at a second’s notice.

“Ready for another season?”

Rose shrugged and smiled, glancing at James and Albus.

“I’m always ready.”

“Rosie here,” said Ron, wrapping an arm around his daughter’s shoulders, “is ready to take whatever Slytherin can throw at her.”

“Uncle Ron’s been helping us practice since he was a Keeper,” Lily explained for Scorpius. “Though I think he’s lost his touch.”

“Nonsense,” said Hermione from Ron’s shoulder. “Ron’s always been a keeper.”

Ron smiled and leaned down to kiss his wife, earning an eye roll and groan from Hugo and Rose.

“Give it a rest,” said Hugo, shouldering through his family with his trunk. He tossed it into the luggage compartment, and together he and Ron ensured everyone’s belongings were safe and stored.

A whistle blew from the front of the train, and around them, families started saying goodbye. Ron and Hermione wrapped their children in a single embrace, holding them both tight, while Harry and Ginny took turns hugging and kissing their kids goodbye. Albus left Scorpius’ side to say goodbye, leaving him and Draco alone for a moment.

“Be safe this year,” said Draco, hushed. “Don’t let Albus lead you into trouble.”

Scorpius wanted to argue, but it was easier to just agree, and he knew it would ease his father’s mind.

“I won’t,” Scorpius assured him.

“And come home at some point this term,” said Draco with a sad smile, drawing Scorpius into one last hug, which was returned twofold. “Any weekends you want. Just let me know so I can arrange it with McGonagall.”

“I know, dad,” said Scorpius.

“Bring Albus. Or whoever,” added Draco. Scorpius laughed and let him to.

“I know, dad,” said Scorpius. “I’ll write as often as I can.”

Draco patted Scorpius’ cheek, taking in one last look at his son.

“Be safe,” Draco said. “I love you.”

Scorpius brightened every time Draco said those words. He was getting freer with them now, and though Scorpius always knew he was loved, it was nice to hear it more often.

“I love you too.”

The rest of the Weasley progeny were already headed for the train, but Albus hung back. Scorpius waved goodbye to Draco, then Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione, before following Albus up the steps and onto the Hogwarts Express.

* * *

Hogwarts was consistent and alive. The minute the students flooded through the doors it came to life, carrying their voices down halls and providing conversations with lively portraits. As they made their way down to the Slytherin dungeon, Scorpius looked around, taking in the castle with fresh eyes.

“You look entirely too happy to be back,” said Albus. From his side, their roommate Andrew Farley agreed.

“I’ve been held up at home all summer,” Scorpius said excitedly. “I’m just happy to be a free man again.”

Albus snorted, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and loosening his tie as they walked.

“Yeah, my parents didn’t let me out much either,” said Albus. As they walked, he leaned over and whispered in Scorpius’ ear. “That’s why I took the Invisibility Cloak from James’ trunk last night.”

Scorpius grinned. So much for his promise to his father.

They waited in line outside the dungeon portal as the prefects explained the common rooms and entrances to the first years.

“So I hear you’re trying out for the team in a couple weeks,” Farley said.

“Word travels fast around here,” replied Albus, disgruntled.

“What about you, Malfoy?”

Scorpius looked away from the tapestry he’d been studying.

“I’ll stick to just flying around the countryside, thanks,” he said. “I love to fly, but I’m no good at catching things - quaffles or snitches.”

Duncan Flint, another of their roommates, appeared at Farley’s shoulder. Both of them had joined the Quidditch team in their fourth year, which Scorpius had been very grateful for. It meant they were tired, sound sleepers he couldn’t wake with his nightmares.

“Guess you didn’t get that from your father either,” said Flint.

Scorpius sighed. He’d almost made it to the dorm without a snide comment about how different he was from Draco.

So close.

When Flint and Farley started talking about the upcoming season (which was usually all they talked about), Albus clapped Scorpius on the shoulder.

“Maybe I shouldn’t try out for the team.”

“No!” squeaked Scorpius. He cleared his throat. “No, you really should. You probably have loads of natural talent. Like James said - your mum was teaching you.”

“Still,” said Albus. “It might just get in the way -”

“Don’t you dare skip out on Quidditch for me,” hissed Scorpius. “Or use the fact that I’m not doing it as an excuse.”

“Okay, okay,” said Albus, holding up his hands in surrender. “I won’t.”

They entered the common room and found it just the way they’d left it - dark and sleek and green with the glow of the lake filtering in through the thick underwater windows. The Giant Squid was even there to greet them, as if he knew the students were returning.

“Ha! Look!”

Scorpius approached the window to get a better look as one of the squid’s tentacles attached to the glass. Scorpius looked up, studying the suckers attached to the glass. Albus joined him enthusiastically.

“I love it when the squid visits,” he said. “Look at the size of those tentacles!”

Their fourth roommate, Frederick Pucey, nudged Albus on the shoulder by way of greeting, looking up at the squid too as it moved through the water, letting go of the window and floating off.

“Have a good summer, boys?”

“Boring,” said Scorpius, shaking his head.

“Very dull,” replied Albus, stepping back and moving to another window to watch the squid as it moved through the water, around the dungeon.

“Heard you’re going to try out for Quidditch,” said Pucey.

“Doesn’t everyone have something better to talk about?”

“Harry Potter’s son possibly playing for Slytherin?” asked Pucey. “It’s pretty much all anyone is talking about.”

“I think it’s far more interesting that it’s the son of Ginny Weasley, former pro Quidditch player, trying out, but sure - let’s make it about my dad like everything else.”

 _Ah,_ thought Scorpius. _There’s Albus._

Albus gave up on watching the squid and resorted to arguing with Pucey over whether or not Slytherin had a more viable alternative for the seeker position, and Scorpius sat back on one of the couches and listened as he looked around the room. By and large, they’d been mostly ignored, and for once Scorpius felt almost welcome in the common room - no stares or jeers. He made himself relax, reminding himself that he was completely prepared for the upcoming year, and sank into the cushions.

After a while, Scorpius started dozing off, and Albus tapped him on the shoulder.

“Huh?”

“Come on,” said Albus. He held his hand out to help Scorpius up in his grogginess, and Scorpius grabbed his arm gratefully.

“Bedtime?”

“It’s almost eleven.”

“How long was I asleep?” asked Scorpius, rubbing his eyes. “How long were you talking?”

“A while,” said Albus, ushering him down the hall to the dorm.

The boys’ dorm smelled like clean sheets and wood polish, and Scorpius looked at his desk fondly. It felt good to be back.

“Oh, no,” said Albus. “Not again.”

Scorpius looked at him, confused, and followed his gaze to the foot of Scorpius’ bed. There, on his brand new trunk, were the words “Voldemort Spawn” sprawled across the lid in bright gold paint.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” said Flint through a mouthful of toothpaste. He was already in his pajamas.

“It’s fine,” said Scorpius, shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’ll clean it off tomorrow.”

“I’m going to find out who did this,” Flint assured him.

“They’ll pay,” agreed Pucey.

“Thanks,” said Scorpius. “But that isn’t really necessary.”

“I think it is,” said Albus.

“That’s your mother talking.”

Scorpius pulled open his wardrobe and grabbed a fresh pair of pajamas, grateful that the house elves had already set up his things. He didn’t want to have to look at the trunk more than he had to.

As he passed, Scorpius caught Albus' concerned look. “Scorp...”

“I’m fine, Al,” Scorpius said. “I’m just going to get ready for bed.”

Scorpius disappeared into the bathroom. It wasn’t that he minded being called the Son of Voldemort anymore - the line was so old that it didn’t bother him much - but he’d been at his mother’s grave that very morning before heading to King’s Cross. He didn’t think the pranksters knew how much they were disrespecting Astoria’s memory, or how kind and generous she was, but Scorpius knew, and it hurt all the more.

* * *

“Rose! Hey, Rose!”

Scorpius chased Rose Granger-Weasley down the staircase, stumbling a bit as it jerked beneath his feet and began to move.

Rose looked over her shoulder at him and visibly sighed, but also smiled.

“Hello, Scorpius.”

“Ready for the first day of classes?” Scorpius asked eagerly, bouncing on his heels.

“Yes,” she said, somewhat amused by his excitement. Scorpius found it encouraging.

“Where are you off to?”

“I’ve got Arithmancy, and then Advanced Potions.”

“Oh, I’ve got Advanced Potions too!”

“Oh, good,” said Rose. Her smile was noticeably forced, which quelled Scorpius’ enthusiasm.

Maybe this year wasn’t going to be so different after all.

“So...” Scorpius wracked his brain for another topic, lest she hop of the staircase once it stopped moving, but it was difficult. Rose made thinking difficult for him - everything she said felt like a challenge. “Any other exciting subjects?”

Rose shook her head slowly. “Nothing new,” she said. “Just the usual.”

“Oh. Well, okay. No surprises then, right?”

Scorpius smiled, hoping she’d laugh. She didn’t, so he continued talking simply because he couldn’t stop himself.

“I was looking at the schedule earlier,” he said. “There’s a Hogsmeade -”

“Don’t.” Rose began. “Don’t you dare ask me out again.”

Scorpius fell silent. He was going to do exactly that. The staircase went still, connected to the landing below, and Rose took off, leaving him behind.

“See you in Potions, then!” he called after her. She turned the corner and disappeared, and Scorpius stepped down onto the safe, stable landing and sighed.

“That acorn isn’t growing, is it?”

Scorpius looked up behind him and saw Albus coming to meet him down the stairs. He sighed and shook his head.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Sorry, mate,” said Albus. “She’s always been so stubborn. And judgmental.”

They walked down the corridor together towards the Muggle Studies classroom.

“Maybe you should think about asking someone else out,” Albus suggested cautiously. Scorpius snorted.

“Like who?”

“I don’t know,” said Albus, thinking. “We know Polly Chapman has the potential to like you, based on what happened last year, and she’s really not so bad in this reality.”

Scorpius cringed. He found the idea repulsive.

“I don’t want anything to do with that timeline.”

“Well, it’s not really that timeline -”

“No, Albus,” Scorpius said firmly as they turned into the classroom. Albus selected a desk at the dead center of the classroom - close enough that Scorpius could see, but far enough away that he could duck any questions.

Scorpius threw his bag on the floor and sank down into his seat. It had been nearly a year, and still he had nightmares. Albus didn’t know, of course. He’d known the first few weeks after weren’t the best, but once Scorpius stopped crying out in his sleep, he saw no need to wake Albus or anyone else in the dorm, and when Albus asked, he’d shrugged off the question, content to let Albus put the whole ordeal behind him.

“Well, there are lots of other girls,” said Albus, stretching in his seat. “And you’re the Scorpion King. Take your pick.”

Scorpius rolled his eyes and squinted at the board, trying to see which chapter he needed.

* * *

At the end of September, Scorpius followed a nervous Albus out to the Quidditch pitch. He was wearing the practice gear Farley had provided, and was looking none too sure of himself.

“You’ll be fine,” said Scorpius. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I fall off my broom and die and come back as a very humiliated ghost?”

“Ok. What’s the worst thing that can happen that’s actually _likely_ to occur?”

“That I don’t make the team,” said Albus as they trod through the damp morning grass. “Wait, you think it’s likely that I won’t make it?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You meant it,” mumbled Albus.

“I did not,” said Scorpius. “If your dad says you’re good and your mum helped train you, then I’m sure you’ll be great!”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” said Scorpius, enthusiastic. “You’re going to be the best seeker Slytherin has had since my father.”

“From what I hear that isn’t saying much.”

“Well, I’m entirely certain neither of us is getting an unbiased account,” Scorpius reminded him.

Albus laughed nervously and looked over the field at his competition.

“Okay. Well... wish me luck.”

Scorpius clapped him on the shoulder, doing his best to look cheery and confident.

“Good luck!”

* * *

Albus sat down on the field after tryouts, and Scorpius ran down from the stands to meet him as the other Slytherin Quidditch aficionados started to head back to the castle. Once most of the others were gone, he jogged onto the field to where Albus sat in shock near the midfield marker.

“Sweet Merlin, that was brilliant!” cried Scorpius.

“I can’t believe I did it,” said Albus, stunned. He looked up at Scorpius, his eyes wide and far away. “I can’t believe I actually did it.”

“Wait until my father hears about this,” Scorpius laughed. “Good terms or not, he’s going to be so irked that a Potter is Slytherin’s new seeker.”

“Father...” Albus said slowly. “I have to tell my father.”

“Aren’t you excited?” Scorpius asked, bouncing.

“I finally did something better than James,” Albus said, and then suddenly looked both horrified and ill. “I’m going to have to play against Rose.”

Scorpius looked down at him, all mismatched gear and grass stains, and smiled at Albus. Even if he was anxious, Scorpius knew how much he’d wanted to make the team - he’d talked about it every day over the last month - and Scorpius wanted him to be happy.

“Does this mean I have to start going to more of the games?” Scorpius asked.

“Only when Slytherin is playing,” Albus said, a grin breaking across his face. He looked up at Scorpius as the shock wore off and he was both relieved and excited.

“I made the team,” he said again. “Just barely, but I made the team.”

“That you did,” said Scorpius, extending his hand to help him up. Albus took it, and Scorpius pulled him to his feet. “Come on. This calls for a celebration.”

* * *

“You’re not very good at celebrating,” said Albus, though he didn’t seem at all surprised or unhappy as he looked around the kitchens. It had been a long time since they’d visited.

“How on earth are Butterbeer and tarts disappointing you?”

Scorpius thanked the elf who brought them a plate of sweets and two tankards of Butterbeer and sat down at one of the long tables.

“Sometimes I don’t understand why we even bother with the Great Hall,” said Scorpius as Albus sat across from him. He shoved one of the tarts in his mouth. “I mean, the food is good and we don’t have to talk to people.”

“Or get stared at,” said Albus before taking a long drink. One of the house elves passed them slowly, and Albus smiled and waved. The elf scurried off.

“Well, mostly. Even the elves have to get a better look at Harry Potter’s son,” said Scorpius. “And the Son of Voldemort. That too.”

Albus cringed.

“I can’t believe how stubborn that paint was,” said Albus. “I’m sorry it ruined your trunk.”

Scorpius shrugged. “It’s not the first thing of mine to be vandalized. It won’t be the last.”

“Still, I wish I could get my hands on whoever did it,” said Albus through a mouthful of food.

“And what would you do if you did?” Scorpius asked. The question was meant to be rhetorical, but he’d found Albus didn’t quite understand that concept.

“I’d hex them,” said Albus. “Plain and simple”

“You’d do nothing of the sort.”

“Yes, I would,” said Albus. “They hurt you. That’s not okay.”

Scorpius looked down into his Butterbeer, feeling color rising in his cheeks, though he wasn’t sure why.

“That’s nice of you to say,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t want you getting detention over something so stupid.”

“I’m Harry Potter’s son,” Albus reminded him. “I’m already on the Quidditch team. Time I started acting recklessly and _really_ live up to the name.”

“You’re also named after Albus Dumbledore,” Scorpius retorted. “You have to live up to that name too.”

For that, Albus had no response. He just ate another tart, sulking.

“Don’t be getting into fights over some stupid prank.”

“Pranks are meant to be funny,” Albus reminded him. “This isn’t funny.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” he confirmed. “But I still think I should get to hex someone.”

Scorpius was touched and reached across the table, grabbing Albus’ forearm to ensure he was paying attention.

“And I appreciate the sentiment,” Scorpius said, purposeful. “But let’s try to avoid detention this year. I’ve had my fill of it after last year.”

“True,” Albus agreed. “We only barely convinced McGonagall to give us back our Hogsmeade weekends.”

“Right?” said Scorpius, withdrawing his hand. “Speaking of, I have something to tell you.”

“Something good, I hope.”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug. “I was talking to Katie Abbot the other day after Runes.”

“Neville’s niece?”

“I still find it strange that you’re on a first name basis with him, but yes,” said Scorpius. “And she kept talking about Hogsmeade and how much she liked going and apparently we both really love Honeydukes -”

“You’re rambling again.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not entirely sure how I did it, but I asked her out, even though the first visit is a few weeks away.”

Albus stared at him, clearly expecting more to the story.

“And she said yes.”

Albus continued staring.

“Is it that much of a shock?” Scorpius asked.

“A little bit,” said Albus. “I didn’t even know you liked her. Hell, I didn’t even know you knew her.”

“Just because she’s a year below us?”

“You helped her with her homework, didn’t you?” Albus smirked. He was always teasing Scorpius for tutoring the younger students in the Slytherin common room and the library. Scorpius simply couldn’t resist a struggling student when he knew he could help, even if they did tend to steer clear of him otherwise.

“So?”

Albus chuckled, but Scorpius couldn’t help noting that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He chalked it up to jealousy that he had a date and Albus didn’t.

“Well, good for you, mate,” said Albus, and he raised his tankard. Scorpius smiled and tapped the edge of his near-empty Butterbeer tankard against Albus’, feeling just a bit disappointed that they wouldn’t spend the first Hogsmeade visit of the year together at Zonko’s and the Three Broomsticks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I had a lot of requests for a story leading up to the events of 'Quietly,' and it's really a lot of fun to explore angsty fifth year Scorbus, so here we are.
> 
> The other three chapters will be published in short order, so stay tuned. 
> 
> Leave a note if you get a chance!


	2. Autumn

Scorpius watched as Albus got more and more nervous as the leaves changed and piled up on the ground. Even with several weeks of Quidditch practice, he was nervous, and on the morning of the first game, he waited until the last minute to head out of the dorm, checking his gear over and over again.

“Albus, it’s fine,” Scorpius said, inspecting the wrist clasp on his gloves.

“It’s just that they’re new,” Albus said. “And I want to make sure they’re not defective.”

“Don’t you think your mother would have noticed?”

Still, Scorpius loosened the clasp and tightened it again just to make Albus happy.

“Thank you,” Albus said quietly. His cheeks were pale from stress and when he looked around the room, Scorpius noticed that his eyes looked a bit wild.

“Hey,” said Scorpius, placing both his hands on Albus’ shoulders. “You’re going to do great.”

“I don’t know,” Albus said, and Scorpius noticed his voice was shaking just a bit.

“I do,” said Scorpius.

“You’re humoring me.”

“Don’t insult me,” said Scorpius. “If I thought you’d fail and hurt yourself, I would have complained until you quit the team just to shut me up.”

Albus smiled and looked down as Scorpius released him.

“Now, put on your robe and let’s get going.”

Albus took a deep breath and pulled on his new, crisp Slytherin Quidditch robe with his name and number on the back.

“It looks just like my dad’s, except it’s green. I’m sure he’d find that disturbing,” Albus said. He tried to tie the laces on the front, but his hands were shaking. Scorpius sighed and wove the leather through the small grommets and tied it expertly.

“Are your parents here?”

“I’m not sure,” said Albus. He clearly hadn’t thought of that, and looked panicked. “Do you think they’d come?”

“Well, yes,” said Scorpius.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Albus.

“Oh, no you don’t,” said Scorpius. He grabbed Albus’ arm and pulled him from the dorm. “You’re late enough as it is, and I’ve seen you sick. Vomiting takes at least ten minutes, and the game starts in thirty.”

* * *

When Scorpius entered the common room late that night, the first thing he saw was Albus, seated in one of the armchairs near the fireplace. His hair was weighed down with dampness from the shower, and his skin looked like it had been scrubbed raw.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” said Albus, staring into the fire.

“Were your parents here?”

“Yes.”

Scorpius cringed.

“Well, at least you got to see them.”

Scorpius sat on the arm of the chair and stared with him for several minutes before Albus spoke again.

“How was your date?”

“Erm, standard, I guess?” said Scorpius. “We just kind of walked around and talked.”

“That good, huh?”

“It was a nice... conversation, I suppose. I felt pretty stupid when I spilled pumpkin juice on my trousers, though.”

“Do you like her?”

“She’s very smart.”

“That’s not an answer,” said Albus, stretching out and slumping down in the chair. Scorpius looked down at him. Albus looked more than defeated - he looked deflated.

“Did you kiss her?”

“That’s a very personal question.”

“Come on,” said Albus. “One of us had to have a good day.”

“I didn’t kiss her,” Scorpius said. He looked down at his hands. “She kissed me.”

Albus looked up at him, surprised.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Well, was it good? Why aren’t you more excited?”

Scorpius shrugged, picking at some dry skin on his palms. He didn’t know why he wasn’t more excited. It had been nice - she had been nice. But as trips to Hogsmeade went, it wasn’t one of his better ones.

“It was nice,” Scorpius said again. “We just didn’t click, I guess. And I was worried about how you’d be doing after the game.”

“Bet you were thinking about Rose,” Albus said.

Scorpius didn’t say anything, and Albus went back to staring at the fire absently. They watched the flames flicker for several minutes in silence.

“It was your first game,” said Scorpius eventually. “Most seekers wouldn’t catch the Snitch in their first game.”

“My dad did,” muttered Albus.

Scorpius had no response for that. In truth, he was disappointed too - both that he hadn’t enjoyed his first real date more and that his best friend hadn’t been more excited for him, but he couldn’t blame Albus.

“It would have been so much better if it hadn’t been Hufflepuff,” said Albus. “If it had at least been Gryffindor...”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Scorpius implored. “I... I actually thought you were playing really well. I was watching the whole time.”

Albus looked up at him for the first time since Scorpius had joined him and smiled just a bit, which was more than Scorpius could have asked for.

“Thanks, mate.”

“Any time.”

* * *

There were few things more frightening, Scorpius thought, than a professor who said students would be paired up for the foreseeable future, and then pulled out a list.

“Ugh,” groaned Albus. He dramatically buried his head in his arms, prepared to accept his fate.

Professor Slughorn cleared his throat. “Now, I’ve paired you all of randomly, so I don’t want any griping about your partners.”

Scorpius looked across the room at Rose, who was tapping her pen against her notebook impatiently. He thought he saw her eyes dart in their direction, but at such a distance, he couldn’t be sure.

As Slughorn read through the list, Scorpius muttered a silent prayer that he’d be paired with Albus, because Albus was often abysmal at potions and Scorpius was at least passable, and he couldn’t stand it if Albus failed just because he’d drawn a bad partner.

“Malfoy and Goyle,” called Slughorn. Scorpius looked around the room to Maggie Goyle, who looked neither impressed or upset with her assignment. Scorpius had barely spoken to Maggie or any of the Slytherin girls in his year, but he figured now was a good time to start.

“Mr. Potter,” Slughorn said, “you’ll work with Miss Granger-Weasley.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest or something?” Albus said. Rose’s groan was audible even from across the room.

“I drew your names from a hat,” Slughorn said, uninterested in Albus’ anguish. “The hat has spoken.”

Slughorn continued down the list as Albus returned his head to the desk.

“I’d trade you if I could,” said Scorpius.

Albus said something, but it was muffled by his arms. Scorpius didn’t need to know what it was - the tone had been clear, and he was certain Albus had used vocabulary not suited for a wider audience.

Slughorn gave them their assignment - to create a perfect pepperup potion - and released them to arrange themselves with their partners. Scorpius watched as Albus dragged himself across the room to where Rose sat, since she was clearly not moving.

* * *

“You’ve got to be _careful_ , Al,” Rose said, grabbing his hand as he went to sprinkle in flitterbloom dust. “That’s entirely too much.”

“It says a pinch,” said Albus, pointing at the instructions. “A pinch is not a precise measurement.”

Rose rolled her eyes and pulled his hand back from over the cauldron.

“That is far more than a pinch.”

“Fine. If you want to do everything yourself, then fine.”

Albus sat back on his stool and folded his arms, listening to Rose work and tinker with the ingredients. He looked across the room and saw Scorpius with Maggie Goyle, who Albus had barely met on the Quidditch team. They seemed to be having an excellent time as Scorpius showed her how to stir the potion properly.

Albus would have been jealous of anyone who got Scorpius as a partner, but did he have to be getting along so well with one of his new teammates?

Then again, now that Scorpius’ general awkwardness had been somewhat tempered, everyone seemed to get along with him once they got past the ‘Son of Voldemort’ stigma.

“Are you even listening?” Rose snapped.

“Clearly not,” said Albus, scowling at her. “Why would I, since you’re just going to do it yourself anyway.”

“Well, obviously this is going to be on the test,” said Rose, haughty. “And I and I can’t do _that_ for you, can I?”

“No, but how could I _possibly_ deny you the pleasure of gloating when you get a significantly higher grade than I do?”

“You’re impossible, Albus. You were impossible all summer, and you’re impossible now.”

“And you’re a -”

  
Albus cut himself off, his mother’s voice chiming in his head - _don’t ever call a woman a bitch._

“Oh, finish that sentence, Al,” said Rose. “Please. Tell me what you’ve learned down there in the dungeons.”

“It’s not that,” snapped Albus.

“What is it, then?”

“Even when we were just playing Quidditch over the summer, you were so competitive,” Albus said. “Everything is a fight with you and you always have to be better.”

Rose stared at him, her expression hard.

“I just wanted to do well in class,” she hissed at him. “And you were screwing it up.”

Albus opened his mouth to respond - he couldn’t stand not having the last word with her and knew they could argue forever - but Professor Slughorn interrupted.

“Let’s see where we’re at now,” he said, reaching across Albus to stir the potion and check its consistency. Rose watched with rapt attention, her hand instinctively moving towards her pen to take down any feedback.

“Yes, yes,” said Slughorn, stirring and lifting the ladle to watch the potion drip. “Very good. Looks like you could have used more flitterbloom dust, though.”

Slughorn reached across Albus and grabbed a bit more flitterbloom dust and stirred it in.

“There,” he said, satisfied. “Lovely.”

Albus took a deep breath and tried to fight down the satisfied grin he felt bubbling up, but he couldn’t help it.

“I thought so,” said Albus.

“Sometimes it’s best to go with your instincts, dear boy,” said Slughorn. “Your father wasn’t a slouch in potions and neither was your mother. Maybe you have some of his talent.”

Albus grinned broadly and thanked Professor Slughorn before he walked off to appraise the next table’s work. In his periphery, he could see that Rose had gone about as red as her hair.

“You know, Rose,” said Albus, stirring the potion. “You’re looking a bit off. Why don’t you have some of this pepperup potion so you’ll feel better?”

“You’re infuriating.”

“Maybe you’ll be less infuriated if you have some of this perfect pepperup potion.”

Albus held a spoonful of it out to her, delighted with her irritation.

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“Why do you like making me angry?”

“You started it.”

“I did not.”

“You did!”

“What’s going on over here, guys?”

Albus looked over his shoulder and saw that Scorpius had appeared, the edges of his hair curling from the potion vapor.

“I could hear you across the room, so -”

“This has nothing to do with you, Scorpius,” interrupted Rose, terse.

“Don’t be rude to him just because he came over to check,” said Albus, standing between them. “Scorpius didn’t do anything.”

Professor Slughorn dismissed the class and Rose snapped her notebook closed.

“Exactly. Because you don’t need the rest of your family once you’re here and you have him,” she said, nodding sharply to Scorpius, and strode from the room before Albus could respond.

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius said quickly, flustered. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Albus, seething. He packed up his things slowly and deliberately, and Scorpius stacked up his notes and handed them over.

“I just heard you arguing a bit and thought maybe if I came over...”

“It’s fine, Scorp. Promise. She’s just like that sometimes.”

Albus slung his bag over his shoulder, shaking his head.

“Free period,” Albus realized with relief.

“Yeah. Then dinner.”

“Great,” said Albus. “Fighting with Rose always gives me a headache. I need a nap.”

* * *

Both Albus and Scorpius slept right through dinner and their curfew, and weren’t awakened until their roommates began coming in for bed.

When no one else was paying attention, Albus leaped from his bed and grabbed the cloak from inside his trunk, shoving it inside his jumper.

“Come on!”

Scorpius shook his head. He’d go to bed hungry if it meant avoiding detention.

“Come on, they’ll have sweets down in the kitchens,” Albus said.

Scorpius’ resolute expression faltered, and Albus looked at him, pleading.

“Please?”

Scorpius groaned and swung his legs off the side of the bed, unsure of what convinced him - the promise of pastries or Albus’ big, green, needy eyes.

Albus’ face broke into a wide grin as Scorpius shoved his feet into his shoes.

“You’re the best.”

“You’re trouble.”

“I hear that was my parents’ second choice for a middle name, right behind Severus.”

Scorpius followed Albus out of the dorm and into the empty hall that led to the common room. Albus pulled out the cloak and it shimmered in the low lantern light as he swung it around their shoulders and pulled it over their heads.

“You’re going to get too tall for this if you keep growing at this rate,” whispered Albus, and Scorpius laughed.

They moved through the common room carefully, unwilling to let one of the prefects see them exit, and walked through the portal, making as little noise as possible.

Scorpius always thought the castle was beautiful at night when it was empty and quiet. He’d only had a few opportunities to see it like this, and whenever he did, he took in all the silence and melancholy shadows.

In some ways, it reminded him of the Malfoy Manor, but where his family’s home was cold and grey, the stone that Hogwarts was built from held some kind of warmth for him, even when its occupants didn’t.

In the silence, Albus’ grumbling stomach was audible.

“We’re going to get caught if your stomach keeps growling like that,” Scorpius whispered, quickening his pace. If Albus’ stomach was making that noise, then he needed dinner as soon as possible.

They turned down one of the smaller hallways, winding their way toward the kitchen’s painting-portal, and suddenly there was another sound mingling with their cautious footsteps.

It was crying. A girl’s crying.

Albus stopped walking suddenly, and Scorpius turned and looked at him, their faces only inches apart. Albus was listening intently and wasn’t focused on anything else, and Scorpius noticed for the first time how much Albus had changed since the last time they’d been under this cloak. He’d always been tense - wound tightly around his own fears and insecurities - and he still had all of that, but he wore it better somehow. Maybe he was more sure of himself after the time-turner incident, or maybe it was just the result of growing up, but Albus had clearly changed.

Another sob echoed down the hallway, and Albus’ eyes went wide.

“That’s my sister.”

Before Scorpius could stop him, Albus had thrown off the cloak and took off down the corridor, following the sounds.

“Al!”

Scorpius followed him, still wearing the cloak, chasing him down one corridor and then another, but Albus was on a mission and there was no catching him. He skidded to a stop meters in front of Scorpius and looked into one of the alcoves.

Scorpius approached quietly as Albus spoke.

“Lily?”

Scorpius moved along the opposite wall, trying to stay as quiet as possible, until he could see what was happening, and that Lily was okay.

Her face was splotchy and washed out by the bright moonlight streaming in from outside. The alcove was small - students usually used them for short breaks between classes - and Albus sat down on the bench facing his sister, leaning forward to talk to her.

“Lily, what happened?”

Lily sniffed and took a deep breath to calm herself, but broke into sobs again before she could speak.

Scorpius watched as Albus slid down to his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tight. Lily sobbed into the shoulder of his jumper, clinging to him so hard that she slid from her seat into his lap, and Albus all but cradled her.

“Shhh,” whispered Albus. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair, letting her cry. Albus looked out into the hallway, knowing Scorpius was out there, unseen, and mouthed the word ‘sorry,’ looking at the spot only a few paces from where Scorpius stood, rooted to the ground under the cloak.

Lily cried for a few more minutes, and Scorpius slid down to sit on the floor, his back pressed into the wall, unable to look away. He wished he weren’t there - that he had just told Albus to go on his own and bring him back a snack - but he couldn’t leave. What if one of the professors came down the hall? He’d have to jump in and cover them all in the invisibility cloak to avoid detention - but he hoped it wouldn’t come to that for Lily’s sake.

“What happened?” Albus asked, his voice soft and caring. Lily sniffed and sat back, and Albus pulled the sleeve of his jumper down to cover his palm and used it to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“Gordon Edgecombe,” Lily started, gasping on her words as she fought back sobs. She held her breath for a moment, and when she exhaled she seemed calmer - her voice steady. Albus kept his arms around her, listening intently.

“I’ve had a crush on him for a while,” said Lily. “It’s not a secret, and my roommate, Millie - she knew about it.”

“Okay,” said Albus, encouraging her to go on.

“Well, apparently Millie has been flirting with him behind my back,” Lily said. “A-and he asked her out in front of m-me. And s-she said yes.”

Lily broke down into sobs again, and Albus pulled her close, letting her cry into his neck again.

Scorpius watched, jealous and grateful all at once. How lovely it must be, he thought, to have siblings to cry on and let cry on you. Albus was fortunate.

He watched as Albus closed his eyes, pained in empathy, all of the animosity he carried for his family gone. Maybe their summer playing Quidditch had healed something for him, or maybe - just maybe - Albus didn’t care under the weight of his sister’s sobs.

Scorpius watched as Albus rocked his sister back and forth, whispering the things he imagined Ginny or Harry had said when they’d cried as children. With the bright moonlight coming in through the window, Scorpius thought Albus and Lily looked like one of the old paintings he’d seen in museums - the ones his mother had liked and had tried to explain to him when he was too young to understand why they made him sad.

Albus held her protectively, saying things Scorpius couldn’t quite make out until she calmed down, and Scorpius was overcome with a sense of sadness and longing - a warmth and emptiness he still didn’t understand.

He wanted to be held like that. Like he mattered. Like there was one person in the world who would do anything for him, and he wanted that person to be Albus.

“You’re Lily Potter,” Albus said when the sobbing had subsided. “And you’re crying over some boy?”

“He’s not just some boy,” Lily protested. “He’s c-cute and smart.”

“You’re Lily fucking Potter,” Albus said, and it made Lily laugh. Albus smiled, pleased with himself. “And Lily fucking Potter doesn’t cry over anybody.”

Lily sniffed and sat up, wiping her tears away again. Under the cloak, Scorpius pressed his palm against his mouth and closed his eyes tight for a moment, his chest aching and his head reeling. He’d put words to what he’d been feeling for a long time, and even though they were inadequate, he couldn’t stop them from repeating over and over in his head.

_I care about Albus as much more than a friend and there's nothing I can do about it._

_Merlin, he looks beautiful._

His whole life he’d thought the idea of ‘heartache’ was just a pretty metaphor, but now he knew it was very real, and he hated himself a bit for thinking something so trite.

“And if Lily Potter cries over anyone, Albus Potter has to go make some people miserable.”

“Oh, no,” said Lily. “B-besides, it’s not his fault.”

“It certainly is. If he can’t see how positively spectacular you are, then it is his fault,” said Albus, unsticking a lock of hair from her damp cheek.

“I’m mad at Millie,” Lily said. “It’s just that she _knew_.”

“Well, be mad at Millie. But don’t cry about it, because there are plenty of boys at Hogwarts who would kill to ask out Lily fucking Potter.”

He tapped her nose with his index finger and Lily giggled again.

“Sometimes when we’re here, I forget,” Lily said. She suddenly looked down, as if she were ashamed.

“Forget what?”

“Sometimes I forget you’re around. I barely see you - not like James and Rose.”

“Well, I’m still here,” Albus assured her. “And contrary to popular belief, you can be seen talking to a Slytherin out of class.”

“I’ll remember that,” said Lily with a small smile. “Why are you even out here?”

Albus shrugged. “Got hungry. Decided to chance a walk down to the kitchens. Why are you out here?”

“Professor Vector caught me screaming at Millie right after it happened, and she had me sit in her office until I’d cooled down. I just couldn’t go back yet,” Lily admitted. “How’d you find me?”

“I know the sound of my sister crying,” Albus said. “It’s past curfew. Think you can head back now?”

Lily nodded and stood up carefully, untangling herself from her brother.

“Just ignore her,” said Albus as he got to his feet. “She’ll either realize she did something wrong, or you’ll have to start stealing all of her pants bit by bit until she doesn’t have any.”

“That’s... actually kind of brilliant,” said Lily.

“I might look like dad, but I am still a Weasley.”

Lily grinned and threw her arms around Albus’ waist.

“I’m glad you found me, Al,” Lily said, and Albus bent down to kiss the top of her head, hugging her back.

“Me too,” said Albus. He released her and smiled down at her, ruffling her hair. “Now go. Before someone finds you.”

“Be careful,” Lily said, slipping out of the alcove.

“You too.”

Albus stood in the middle of the corridor, hands in his pockets, until she disappeared around the corner and her footsteps faded.

“Where are you, Scorp?” Albus said after a moment, and Scorpius stepped over to him and threw the cloak around his shoulders so it enveloped them both.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Albus said quietly.

“I’m not. You’re...” Scorpius struggled to find the words. “You’re a very good brother.”

Albus smiled and muttered “thanks” before they started walking down the corridor again towards the kitchens, and Scorpius understood all at once why his first date hadn’t felt the way he’d expected.

* * *

_November 10_

_Dear Dad,_

_I can’t believe it’s almost time for the Christmas holidays. This term has flown by and it’s time to start thinking about OWLs already. Professor McGonagall keeps saying we need to be focused solely on our studies, but I decided I needed something else outside class, so I joined Dueling Club._

_I’ve only gone to a few lessons, but it seems like I’m pretty good at it. Weren’t you in Dueling Club for a while at Hogwarts? How was it?_

_Can you send more shirts? I spilled pumpkin juice and Butterbeer on all of mine again._

_I hope you’re doing well, and that you’re getting out sometimes. Are you? You know I worry_  

_All my love,_

_Scorpius_

* * *

_November 12_

_Dear Scorpius,_

_Yes, I was in Dueling Club. I accidentally set a snake on H. Potter. Remind me to tell you about it when you get home, if Albus has not told you the other side already._

_I do hope you are focusing in class. OWLs are very important, and if you still want to pursue academia, you’ll need strong scores going into your sixth and seventh years. I know it seems like a lot now, but it will be worth it in the end. Of course, you should still enjoy yourself._

_What is this I hear about you being spotted with a Ravenclaw girl in Hogsmeade? Word travels fast, Scorpius._

_Do not worry about me. Worry about your classes and your Dueling footwork._

_Shirts are in the enclosed package._

_Love,_

_Draco_

* * *

_November 13_

_Dad,_

_It didn’t work out with the girl, so don’t be picking out wedding invites._

_Didn’t you know someone named Goyle? I’m potions partners with his daughter, Margaret. We call her Maggie._

_All my love,_

_Scorpius_

* * *

_November 14_

_Scorpius,_

_Yes, I knew Goyle, and I met Maggie when she was a baby. She would not remember me, but tell her I said hello and to pass my regards along to her father._

_Please find the attached care package. I hope it helps you get through the end of the term until I can take you to Diagon Alley and refresh your supplies._

_Love,_

_Draco_

* * *

_November 14_

_Dad,_

_AN ENTIRE BOX OF PEPPER IMPS AND CHOCOLATE FROGS? YOU’RE THE BEST!_

_All my love,_

_Scorpius_

* * *

Defense Against the Dark Arts was, by default, the class that set Albus most on edge, which made Scorpius tense too. It was the only class where he consented to sit in the back, having made Albus promise that he’d take all the notes from the board when Professor Scamander wrote too small for him to see.

Professor Acamas Scamander was a retired auror who seemed far too old and grey to be as agile and spritely as he was. Scorpius watched as he excitedly sprawled a single word across the board - one that made Albus groan and cause Scorpius’ eyes to go wide with fear.

 _Patronus_.

“Now,” Professor Scamander began, “who can tell me what a Patronus is?”

Rose’s hand was in the air immediately, and Scorpius blocked out her voice, resting his head in his hands.

“You okay?”

He moved his fingers just enough to see Albus’ concerned face and wished Albus wouldn’t look at him like that – whatever _that_ was.

 _This isn’t normal_ , Scorpius thought for the hundredth time since the tear-filled trip to the kitchens.

“Just... well, this is ruining Voldemort Day,” Scorpius said, using their code to allude to their previous misadventures.

Albus’ nose wrinkled, and Scorpius tried not to fixate on how adorable it was, though he could hardly deny it any more.

Scorpius sat with his head in his hands until Scamander had them all stand up around the room, and waved the desks into a line against the back wall. Scorpius eyed him, displeased, as he lined up beside Albus, who was clutching his wand nervously next to Rose.

The room was quiet as the first student stood in the center, receiving instruction, looking about as uncertain as Scorpius felt.

“Thank you,” whispered Rose. Scorpius looked over at her and saw that she was looking up at Albus. She was either irritated that she had to thank him for something, or irritated in general. Scorpius couldn’t tell anymore.

“For what?”

“For taking care of Lily,” Rose said. “She told me.”

Scorpius looked down. If Lily didn’t know he’d been there, he didn’t want to let Rose know either.

“She’s my sister,” Albus said. “I wasn’t going to just leave her there crying if I’d heard her.”

“Can’t you just -”

Rose stopped herself and took a deep breath before looking away from Albus to the center of the room where a classmate was failing to produce more than a wisp of silver.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t be combative all the time. I’m... I’m working on it.”

Albus regarded her for a moment, and Scorpius watched him, uncertain of his reaction. He could see Albus weighing his options - he must have known it was the closest to an apology he was ever going to receive - and was surprised when he said nothing, and just wrapped his arm around his cousin’s shoulder.

It took Rose a moment, but she leaned on him just a bit and Albus smiled.

“I can’t promise I won’t laugh if your Patronus is a weasel,” he told her, and Rose chuckled.

One by one, the students were called up to be coached on producing a Patronus, but none were able to get beyond a nebulous cloud of silver. Scamander started off gently, but when Farley struggled for too long, he began raising his voice.

“A happier memory!” he cried as Farley muttered the spell over and over again, barely producing a white vapor. “What’s the happiest you’ve ever been in your life?”

Farley closed his eyes, and Scorpius thought for a moment that he was going to cry - not that he blamed him. Scorpius was still wondering if he’d be called upon before he worried himself sick.

“The happiest you’ve ever been, Farley! Christmases! Vacations! Your mum’s cookies! Playing games with your dad! A pretty girl, maybe?”

Farley’s eyes snapped open and he said the spell again.

“ _Expecto patronum!”_

From the silver wisps formed into a horse. Both Albus and Rose gasped and grinned, and Scorpius looked over at them, confused.

“It’s like mum’s,” Albus said, his eyes glued to the horse. Unlike Ginny’s it didn’t take off and gallop around the room. Instead, Farley’s Patronus turned to face him, and they regarded one another until Farley, unable to help himself, reached out to touch its muzzle and it vanished into the air.

“Bravo!” cried Scamander, clapping. The rest of the class followed suit and Farley grinned, looking down at his feet. “Perfect, Mr. Farley.”

Farley took his seat next to Pucey, who’d only been able to produce a vague outline of something that had looked a bit like a monkey, but Scorpius wasn’t sure.

“Yes, now - Mr. Potter?”

Albus bit his lip and shrugged at Scorpius before walking into the center of the room.

“Full disclosure - has your father worked on this with you before?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And have you been successful in producing a Patronus?”

“Almost. Once.”

“Well, give it a go,” said Scamander, stepping back and giving Albus more space than he’d given any of the other students.

Scorpius watched Albus closely - the way he gripped his wand in his left hand, stepping back with his right foot and raising his arm. He watched the rise and fall of Albus’ chest as he breathed deeply, focusing on his happy memory, and Scorpius wondered what the memory was. Whatever it was, he looked so peaceful and -

_No._

Scorpius shook his head as if it would make the thoughts go away.

“ _Expecto patronum.”_

A substantial cloud of silver formed, but faded quickly, and Scorpius held his breath, alight with curiosity.

“Concentrate, Potter,” said Scamander eagerly. “A different memory, perhaps?”

Albus took another deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, then exhaled slowly and deliberately before looking ahead again.

“ _Expecto patronum!”_

In an instant, a shining, silver wolf burst from where Albus stood, and he grinned. It regarded him for a moment before shaking out its fur and looked around the room, eyeing each of the silent students, sometimes sneering as if it were ready to growl, prowling protectively around Albus’ legs. When it met Scorpius’ gaze, he felt like he’d been doused in cold water and he felt the color inexplicably drain from his face.

It stared at him for a moment before turning back to Albus and striding away, fading as it went.

Albus looked across the room at Scorpius. Normally, Scorpius knew what he meant when he gave him that look - intent and questioning - but now, he was at a loss.

“Well done, Mr. Potter!”

Their classmates clapped as Albus smiled again, proud of himself, and Scamander clapped him on the shoulder before sending him back to the wall.

“Alright, Mr. Malfoy,” Scamander said, gesturing him forward. “Your turn.”

Scorpius gulped and stood up straighter, but it took a nudge from Albus to get his feet moving. He stumbled to the center of the room, looking nowhere but at his feet.

“Find your happiest memory, Mr. Malfoy,” directed Professor Scamander. “Focus on it. Live in it.”

Scorpius stared down at his wand. It wasn’t the same one he’d had when he’d faced the Dementors in the other timeline. It wasn’t the one he’d gripped the first time he’d seen a Patronus with his own eyes.

_Think of Albus._

Scorpius cringed at the thought.

_You’re giving up your kingdom for Albus, right?_

He didn’t want to look at Albus, and he tried desperately not to, but it happened anyway, and Albus looked more than concerned.

Scorpius had never told him all of what his namesake had said, and he certainly had no intention to now.

 _Anything but Albus_ , Scorpius thought. _You have to have a happy memory that has nothing to do with Albus._

Scorpius thought of his childhood, and of his father picking him up and spinning him around on an autumn afternoon when he was playing on the estate grounds. He remembered the feeling of Draco’s hands around his small torso, and the sensation of flying long before he ever had a broom.

“ _Expecto patronum.”_

Then he saw his mother in the background and heard her laugh, and the silver wisps faded as he felt a familiar grief creeping in.

“You have to concentrate, Mr. Malfoy,” said Scamander. Scorpius nodded and tried again.

He thought of his mother sitting under the Christmas tree during his first holidays after starting at Hogwarts. He remembered her grinning as she handed him gift after gift, each of them meaningful and heartfelt, and how happy they’d been singing Christmas carols -

“ _Expecto patronum.”_

But by then she’d known her time was drawing to an end, and she’d been filling each of her final Christmases with as much love as she could.

Again, the spell failed.

“I don’t want to do this, Professor,” Scorpius whispered to Professor Scamander.

“Try one more time,” Scamander said. “Just once more.”

Scorpius sighed and breathed deep, trying to think of the happiest he’d ever been in his life. When was it? When had he ever been truly happy without reservation?

It was the most random of memories that came to him - a rogue snowball hitting him in the face and the sound of Albus laughing as he breathed in the ice and swiped it away before chasing him across the grounds, and he remembered how certain he’d been then, only in his first year, that he’d finally found a friend he could hold onto.

“ _Expecto patronum.”_

The silver fog twisted in front of him, threatening to take shape for just a moment until the fear that he cared for someone who could never care for him the same way crept in and it dissipated.

Beside him, Professor Scamander looked at his watch.

“It looks like that’s all the time we have today,” he said, and Scorpius’ shoulders dropped in gratitude as he walked back to the wall to grab his bag, purposefully avoiding Albus’ gaze.

“Two Patronuses!” said Scamander as they packed up. “That’s more than I expected, and so many of you got close. Keep trying!”

Scorpius swung his bag over his shoulder as his classmates milled around them, congratulating Albus and Farley.

“I didn’t think I could,” Farley said to Albus.

“My dad coached us on the basics of everything,” Albus said. “I had a bit of an edge. Yours was really impressive.”

Scorpius followed Albus and Farley from the classroom, quiet and slow, and when Farley took off for his next class, Albus stood in front of Scorpius to keep him from walking away when he tried to escape.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Scorpius, shuffling his feet and trying to look anywhere but at Albus.

“Something,” said Albus. “I know all your faces, and that’s not your ‘nothing’s wrong’ face.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Scorpius said, and Albus wove into his direct line of vision, relentless.

“Is it because you can’t produce a Patronus? Most people can’t - I think Professor Scamander just wanted us to try.”

“It’s not that,” said Scorpius.

“Scorp, you can talk to me.”

Scorpius looked at Albus, so imploring and concerned, and found himself more heartbroken than encouraged or assured.

“I’m just going to go lie down for a bit before dinner.”

“I’ll come with you -”

“No,” said Scorpius shaking his head and moving past him. “You have that Quidditch meeting anyway. I’ll just see you later.”

Before Albus could protest, Scorpius hurried down the corridor through throngs of students spilling from classrooms. Their chatter and laughter at the end of the day was usually somewhat infectious, but at that moment it only made Scorpius feel even more separated and different than usual.

The corridor down to the Slytherin dungeon was vacant and he was so grateful. The farther he walked the more silent his surroundings became, giving Scorpius room in his head for his thoughts.

All those happy memories from his childhood were tainted by the absence of his mother. He knew they shouldn’t be - he was immensely grateful every day for the time he’d had with Astoria, and would never do anything other than smile at the memory of her face and her voice - but he missed her.

It had only been a little more than two years, and Scorpius felt her absence now more than ever.

 _Mum would make me feel better,_ Scorpius thought. _She always knew how._

And then there was Albus. Albus, his best friend, who he loved dearly, and who he now knew he was actually falling in love with.

 _At least I’m admitting it now,_ Scorpius thought grimly. He couldn’t even pinpoint how long he’d felt this way, but now that he’d thought about it, he couldn’t unthink it. The fact was there, in his head, and it wasn’t going anywhere.

Scorpius Malfoy wasn’t just attracted to girls, and he had more than a platonic love for Albus Potter - a fact that could easily destroy the delicate ecosystem of his life and leave him more alone than ever.

_What am I going to do?_

Scorpius stopped at the landing that led down to the Slytherin dungeon where a large window was level with the ground. The first snow flurry of the season had begun to fall and everything was still and quite outside. It wouldn’t last long, he knew. The first snow never did, but it was enough to herald the changing of the seasons and Scorpius hoped against hope that something would change with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a founding member of the Scorpius Malfoy Protection Squad, I do abuse him a lot.


	3. Winter

“Are you okay, Scorpius?”

Scorpius snapped back to reality. Maggie sat across the table from him, their potions homework spread between them. It was nearly midnight, and Scorpius had spent two valuable hours after dinner helping the second years with their History of Magic homework. He was regretting it now.

He had been staring across the room at Albus, who was practicing charms with Flint. He watched Albus move his wrist, mimicking Flint as he struggled to get it right.

He allowed himself to watch Albus like this for two minutes every day - that was all. He looked down at his watch. It had been five.

“Yeah,” Scorpius said, shaking his head. “Sorry. Just tired. Guess I drifted off.”

“Well, I need your help with this.”

Maggie held out one of their potions combinations questions and Scorpius surveyed it carefully. He needed to figure out the reactions of the ingredients and what kind of final potion it would yield, but he couldn’t think beyond the words that had been buzzing in his head for two weeks.

 _You’re not straight_. _You like Albus_.

He shook his head again and squinted at the problem.

“You’ve been acting weird,” Maggie said. “The last few weeks you’ve barely paid attention in class.”

Watching Albus and Rose from across the room was fascinating now because the moment he’d realized his feelings for Albus were more than just friendly, his attraction to Rose had waned entirely - a fact that kept him up at night.

Scorpius had spent more time analyzing his own reactions to things in the last two weeks that he had in his entire life before combined, and it was exhausting.

“I’m fine. I’m just really tired.”

“Well, the holidays should help!” Maggie said with a grin. “I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas.”

“Just a few more days.”

Scorpius looked down at his work, scribbling intently on the parchment as Albus came over.

“Almost done?” Albus asked, falling into the chair beside him with a yawn.

“Nearly,” said Scorpius. Albus leaned forward and looked over his shoulder, and he could hear his breathing.

“I think number three is wrong,” Albus said, reaching over him to point. Scorpius froze in his seat, his jaw tight, acutely aware of how warm Albus’ arm was against his.

“Is it?”

“Yeah, here.”

Albus grabbed a quill and a piece of scratch paper and worked the problem out a different way, coming to another answer. Scorpius studied it as Albus waited expectantly.

“Well?”

“You’re right,” admitted Scorpius.

Albus made a playful gasp and nudged him.

“I never get to hear that. Say it again.”

“You’re. Right.”

Scorpius stood up and Albus frowned at him.

“I’m really tired,” he said. “I think I’m just going to go to sleep.”

“You sure you want to leave me here to finish this myself?” Maggie asked.

He looked down at Albus, whose face was full of fond concern and nodded.

“Yes,” he said. “I can’t stay awake anymore. I’ll see you at breakfast?”

Maggie nodded and Albus stood up, placing a hand on Scorpius’ shoulder.

“Is everything okay?”

Scorpius could only nod and grit his teeth before reluctantly walking away.

* * *

Scorpius drug himself off of the Hogwarts Express. His legs felt heavy and his bag was even heavier as he stepped onto the frigid platform, scanning the crowd for his father.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Albus had been watching him closely all day, and Scorpius didn’t have the energy to enjoy it or hate it. Between the end of term tests and the realization that his feelings for Albus weren’t going anywhere, Scorpius had been more stressed than he had ever been without a time-turner or a death.

 _So much for Malfoy the Unanxious_.

All of that anxiety had brought his nightmares to a new level. He was used to waking up thinking of Delphi’s face or of Craig Bowker’s vacant, surprised eyes.

Now, Severus Snape kept making an appearance, telling Scorpius over and over to think of Albus - that his thoughts and feelings for Albus would protect him from the Dementors as they approached.

As Scorpius spotted his father, he wondered if there wasn’t an invisible Dementor following him around all the time.

“I’m fine,” Scorpius said. He mustered a smile for Albus and turned to him, looking him in the eye for the first time that day.

“You’ve been acting strange. I’m worried about you.”

 _It would be so easy_ , Scorpius thought. _I could confess and run away into London._

“Don’t worry about me, Al,” Scorpius said. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks, okay?”

He’d known it was coming, but Scorpius still wasn’t prepared when Albus drew him into a tight hug that lasted a beat longer than he would have expected.

“Take care of yourself,” Albus said just before letting go.

“You too,” Scorpius said weakly.

Albus nodded and disappeared into the crowd to find his family. Scorpius sighed and walked to his father, whose black suit seemed far more appropriate in the winter.

“Scorpius.” Draco opened his arms to his son.

Seeing his father felt like unwrapping a poorly bandaged wound, knowing it would be tended to. He collided with Draco and hugged him tightly, clinging tighter when Draco tried to release him.

“Son, are you okay?”

Scorpius nodded into Draco’s shoulder as his father hugged him again, holding him still until Scorpius was ready to let go.

When he did, Draco looked down at him with a frown.

“Dad, can we please go home?”

Draco nodded. Normally he would take Scorpius shopping in London or in Diagon Alley, but it was clear Scorpius wanted to escape.

“You’ve only got your bag, right?”

“Yeah.”

He held his hand out and Scorpius took it gratefully, and they disapparated.

* * *

Scorpius sat in his leather armchair by the fireplace, wrapped in no less than three blankets, clutching a mug of his favorite apple tea and a copy of _The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_. He’d already finished _Frankenstein_ for the tenth time, and this seemed like the best follow-up.

The house elves were concerned, but Scorpius had assured them he was fine - he just didn’t want to move from his spot for the entire break, and he already had a head start.

“Scorpius?”

He looked up to see Draco coming into the room, looking more casual in slacks and a jumper, but no less imposing. How his father managed to exude wealth and class with just his manner of walking, Scorpius had never understood.

“Dad.”

Draco stood over him, hands in his pockets, and looked down at what he was reading.

“Again?”

“If you’re going to wear the same color every day for the rest of your life, then you can’t judge me for reading my favorite books again.”

Draco sighed and sat down in the chair next to him.

“Fair.”

It was their pattern when Scorpius was home to spend time in the sitting room. When his mother had been alive, there had been a long sofa set in front of the fire where they would sit and talk in the evenings. Draco had replaced it with their two armchairs after Astoria’s death, but sometimes Scorpius still lounged on the sofa tucked into the corner of the room when his father wasn’t around.

“So do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Scorpius looked up at the dark vaulted ceiling.

“For the millionth time - nothing is wrong.”

“The three blankets, two cups of tea, four books you’ve read, and the dark circles under your eyes say differently,” said Draco.

Scorpius looked at him surprised.

“You’re my only child. I notice things.”

“I’m fine, dad,” said Scorpius. “I just had a very stressful term and it just caught up to me at the end and I need to unwind.”

“That doesn’t sound like the truth,” said Draco slowly, “but if you don’t want to talk to me about it, I can’t make you.”

“Thank you,” said Scorpius, grateful that Draco was letting the matter go.

“I hope you’ve at least talked to Albus about it,” Draco admitted. “Whatever it is.”

Scorpius stared into the fire, silent. He’d gone ten whole minutes without thinking of Albus, and Draco had ruined it.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Draco reminded him. “Will you at least let me take you to London for the evening?”

Scorpius thought about it for a moment. He’d created quite the cocoon, and was reluctant to leave it, but knew that getting out would be good for him - and for his father.

“I’ll take you to Flourish and Blotts,” Draco bribed as if he knew Scorpius needed convincing.

Scorpius smiled and marked his page, setting the book aside.

“That sounds nice,” he admitted. “I’ll just go clean up.”

Scorpius untangled himself from the blankets and chair stiffly and checked the clock. He hadn’t moved for three hours.

“I’ll wait here,” said Draco, watching his son saunter off toward the staircase.

“So this is the moody teenager I was promised,” Draco said to no one, twisting his wedding ring around his finger idly.

* * *

Albus checked the mail pile for the third time on Christmas morning, and Ginny watched with amusement, leaning back on the kitchen counter.

“Looking for something?”

“I haven’t heard from Scorpius,” Albus said. “I sent him his present last night and a note asking him to at least tell me he’s okay.”

“He’s probably off somewhere with his father,” Ginny told him. “You know Draco doesn’t do much when you two are off at school.”

“Still,” said Albus. “He usually sends a note or _something_.”

“What’s wrong, Al?” James asked, walking in with a tray of empty mugs. He, Lily, Hugo and Rose had been under the Christmas tree all morning, playing Exploding Snap. Albus hadn’t been able to bring himself to join in.

“He hasn’t heard from Scorpius,” said Ginny, trying to mask the amusement in her voice.

“Oh, did you and your boyfriend have a fight?”

Albus glared at him menacingly and James laughed, setting the mugs in the sink.

A pair of small, pale arms wrapped around Albus’ waist from behind, and he looked down to see Lily’s freckly hands.

“It’s okay, Al,” Lily said. He felt her face pressed against his back as she hugged him and he smiled, pleased that he’d at least reached some peace with his siblings at last. “It’s Christmas! Come and play with us.”

“Can we go flying?” Albus asked.

“Oh, can we?”

Lily released him and bounced over to Ginny, jumping up and down.

“It snowed last night and the trees are so pretty - can we go, mum? Please?”

James laughed at her and folded his arms, leaning next to Ginny. When the three of them were together, it was clear that they were Weasleys - all freckles and brown eyes and constant motion.

“I don’t know...” said Ginny, but Albus knew her mocking voice. His mother never needed to be asked twice for a flying trip.

“Please,” pled Lily, using the wide-eyed, desperate look that always got her extra candy and piggyback rides. She’d learned it from Ginny, who used a similar expression on their father, and it never failed to work.

It was the same look Albus gave Scorpius when he wanted them to do something dangerous.

“Did someone say we’re going flying?”

Teddy Lupin stood in the doorway with Harry at his shoulder - his hair a bright green - and Lily squealed and flew at him.

Albus grinned as Teddy caught her and picked her up, spinning her around a few times.

“You’re almost too old for this now,” Teddy said. “Almost fifteen, aren’t you?”

“Almost!”

“Hmm,” said Teddy with a mocking frown. “Well, you’re still short, so I guess if you stop growing now -”

“I’ll get right on that,” said Lily and Teddy laughed, releasing her to receive a great hug from James that had him reeling backward.

“I haven’t seen you for _ages_ ,” James said.

“I know, I know,” said Teddy, guilty. Harry stepped into the room and skirted them along the edges, smiling.

“So Victoire finally let you out of the house?” Ginny asked. She pushed James out of the way to hug Teddy herself, and Albus figured he’d just have to wait his turn.

“Yeah,” laughed Teddy. “Think she’s afraid I’ll run away before the wedding.”

“Did you set a date yet?” Ginny asked.

“Nah,” said Teddy. “We’ve both been busy with work.”

Albus caught movement outside the window and stood on his toes to get a better view, and Teddy jumped.

“Al! I didn’t even see you,” said Teddy. Albus smiled and embraced Teddy on his way to the window.

“Didn’t want to get in the way,” said Albus. He glanced back out the window was Teddy released him. That was definitely an owl flying towards the window, and he opened it quickly, letting in a cold blast of air.

“It’s frigid out,” Teddy said.

“I know! I love flying in the snow,” cried Lily.

A tawny owl flew to the window and landed on its edge, and Albus recognized the handwriting immediately. He gave the bird a pat on the head and untied the package, laughing.

“It’s a book,” said Albus.

“And that’s... unexpected?” said Harry.

“No,” said Albus. “That’s why it’s funny. I sent him one on the history of dueling, which means he most likely - yup.”

Albus pulled a pristine copy of _The Seeker: A Guide to the Most Influential Quidditch Players, 1900-Present_ from its wrappings.

“You two are a little scary sometimes,” said Lily, who had climbed onto Teddy’s back.

“If we’re going flying, everyone go get dressed,” said Harry.

James took off up the stairs, and Teddy bounced Lily from the room. Albus smiled, listening to her laugh.

“Hey, Al?”

Albus looked to his father while Ginny busied herself cleaning up from breakfast.

“Yeah?”

“Lily told me last night about how you found her in the hall outside Professor Vector’s office,” Harry said.

“Oh.”

“She said she was very upset about something - she wouldn’t say what -”

“Which means it was a boy,” Ginny interrupted.

“I certainly hope not,” said Harry, a bit horrified. “Anyway, it was nice of you to take care of her like that.”

“She’s my sister,” said Albus with a shrug. “I’m just not normally around when she or anyone else needs me. Different houses and all.”

Harry smiled and shook his head, then ruffled Albus’ hair - something he hadn’t done for years.

“Ugh. No.”

“Meet us outside when you’re ready,” Harry told him, and together he and Ginny left to go find their winter flying gear.

Once they were well out of sight, Albus ripped open Scorpius’ note and for a moment, he just marveled at Scorpius’ perfectly elegant handwriting and was a bit ashamed of the note he’d scrawled on a piece of parchment and tucked into the front cover of his dueling book.

_Dear Albus,_

_I want you to know that I’ve been receiving your notes. All five of them. And I’m sorry I haven’t written back. Dad and I have been keeping very busy and I was out of the house a lot._

_I know you’ve grown up in a Quidditch-loving household, but I thought you might find this updated copy of ‘The Seeker’ interesting. There’s a great entry on it about your mother and a picture of her with your family. You were an exceptionally chubby child._

_I hope you’re having a lovely holiday with your family. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Love,_

_Scorpius_

Albus read the note three times, hearing Scorpius’ voice in his head with each word, and when he was done, he tucked the note inside his book, knowing he’d read it again.

* * *

Dessert before dinner, a walk around the grounds, reading beneath the Christmas tree, and a trip to Astoria’s grave.

All of the Malfoy Christmas traditions had been met - the new and the old. Draco had bid Scorpius a good night and left him in the sitting room, which looked colder and steelier with the moonlight reflected off the snow outside.

Scorpius sat in his chair for a few moments after Draco left, staring into the fire and listening to the wind outside.

This Christmas had been the emptiest Scorpius had ever experienced. When he was thirteen, he’d been full of grief and last year had been full of irritation with Draco watching him like a hawk.

This year, things had been calm and quiet, and Scorpius had been allowed entirely too much time with his own thoughts.

He pulled on his slippers and grabbed his dueling book, holding it against his chest as he walked into the atrium and up the grand staircase. He knew he should go to bed - his eyes were tired and his vision was blurry from reading most of the day - but something drew him away from the path to his bedroom and he walked further down the hall to a different closed door - one that remained closed, but was never locked.

Scorpius pushed open the door to his mother’s study - a narrow, book-lined room that ended in a large window that overlooked the gardens below. He closed the door silently, though he knew Draco was too far away to hear anyway and stepped in.

Little bits of dust hung in the still air, glowing blue in the moonlight, and Scorpius was reluctant to disturb them. He moved carefully over to the cold window seat and settled there with his book in his lap. He opened the front cover and pulled out the note Albus had sent, reading it for the tenth time.

_Scorpius,_

_You’re starting to worry me, mate. I haven’t heard from you since King’s Cross. Are you getting my messages? Let me know you’re okay._

_I hope you’re having a good Christmas with your dad and maybe you got something cool? I saw this in Flourish and Blotts and thought you might like it._

_Happy Christmas!_

_-Albus_

Scorpius smiled at Albus’ messy handwriting and the crossed out words he couldn’t even make out. He folded the note carefully and tucked it back into the front cover to keep it safe.

Beside him sat one of Astoria’s shawls - an embroidered one Draco had brought her from one of his trips abroad, and Scorpius picked it up with a shaking hand and held it against his chest.

It still smelled like her - like her favorite rose perfume that she used for years. He held it close and allowed himself the small luxury of falling into his own imagination.

With his eyes closed, he could imagine Astoria was there beside him with her hand on his back, comforting him as he cried.

“I don’t know what to do,” Scorpius said, his head bowed. “And I don’t know what you’d say if you were here. I’ve never exactly fit the bill of ‘sole Malfoy heir,’ have I? And now here I am, not even sure if I’m bisexual or gay...”

It was the first time he’d said the words aloud, even to himself, and Scorpius paused to wipe under his eyes with the cuff of his shirt.

“The thing is, it’s not even that I look at other boys and think ‘gee, I’d like to kiss him.’ Well, that’s not true. Lily was right – Gordon Edgecombe is very handsome. But really, it’s just the one boy,” Scorpius said. “And I can’t even look him in the eye anymore. That’s no way to carry on a friendship, is it?”

 _You just have to be happy._ Scorpius had tried to live by those words - they were some of the last Astoria had spoken to him.

_You deserve to be happy, my beautiful boy._

Scorpius shook his head and opened his eyes to the empty room.

“I’m not even sure I’m remembering your voice right, mum,” Scorpius said. “I wish you were here.”

It was cold and he was tired, but Scorpius couldn’t bring himself to leave his mother’s study - the place where he could feel her presence most. If there was some piece of her left in this house, it would be here, where she taught him to read and play Gobstones.

Scorpius wrapped himself in the shawl and curled up on the windows seat, tucking one of the throw pillows under his head. If he couldn’t be comfortable in his own skin, at least he could be comfortable in this room, and when he woke in the morning, shivering, he felt just a bit more peaceful.

* * *

Scorpius climbed onto the Hogwarts Express, resolute.

He’d mulled it over every which way, and had decided that he was entirely capable of being Albus’ friend without letting all of these pesky, confusing feelings get in the way.

 _Fake it until you make it_. That was what he’d decided his mantra would be - pretend he didn’t have feeling for Albus until they’d faded away entirely.

This was the soundest plan Scorpius could imagine and he’d thrown himself behind if wholeheartedly.

“Hey, Scorp!”

Scorpius was looking down the corridor for an empty compartment when he heard Albus’ voice, and turned to see him shuffling through the other students, his family trailing behind him.

Scorpius grinned. Confusing or not, he was exceptionally glad to see Albus’ smiling face.

“Al!”

Albus gave him an awkward, half-hug in the congested corridor.

“Did you have a good holiday?” asked Albus as they shuffled through more students, looking for some empty seats.

“Yeah, it was pretty calm,” said Scorpius. He pulled open a door at the end of the car and was pleased to find the compartment vacant. He threw his things into one of the racks and fell back into the seat as Albus did the same.

“Can we share with you?” asked Rose, leaning in. “Everywhere else is full and they’re just so loud.”

“Of course,” said Scorpius with a grin - not because Rose wanted to spend time with him, but because it would be easier to reacclimatize himself to being around Albus if they weren’t alone.

Rose, Lily and James shuffled in and put their things in the racks before arranging themselves in their seats, with Lily between Scorpius and Albus.

“Aren’t you going to sit over there with your favorite brother?” Albus asked her, smiling.

“Oh, stop,” said Lily. “You’re so needy.”

“I’m not needy,” Albus said, aghast. “Am I needy, Scorpius?”

“That feels like a trick question,” said Scorpius, opening a bottle of pumpkin juice he’d carried from home. “On the one hand, you do like to be independent. On the other, I have had to reorganize your notes and give you pep talks before tests.”

Rose laughed, stretching out across the seat with her legs on James’ lap.

“I see why you hang around Scorpius, Al,” Rose said. “He humors you.”

Albus grumbled at her.

The train jerked into motion and James relaxed back into his seat as Scorpius tried to nonchalantly wipe spilled drops of juice from his sleeve.

“I hope Karen will go out with me this term,” he said and looked at Rose. “Think you can put a good word in for me?”

“Fat chance,” said Lily. “She’s friends with Liv and Liv hates you now.”

James sighed. “I just didn’t want to go out with her anymore. Is that a crime?”

“No,” said Rose. “The crime was telling her you were bored with her and it was time to move on.”

“I was just being honest.”

“Sometimes honesty isn’t the best idea,” Scorpius added.

“Are you an expert on girls now, Malfoy?”

Scorpius’ cheeks went a bit pink as Albus kicked his brother.

“Leave Scorpius alone. It’s not his fault you’ve hurt half the girls in Gryffindor.”

James slid down in his seat, disgruntled.

“I’ll never get a date for Valentine’s Day.”

“You don’t deserve a date for Valentine’s Day,” said Lily. “I, on the other hand, have already secured one.”

“What?” roared James. “You’re not allowed to date until you’re sixteen. Dad said.”

Lily grinned at him sweetly.

“And if you tell Gordon Edgecombe that, I’ll murder you in your sleep.”

Albus smiled at Scorpius over Lily’s head, looking pleased with himself, and Scorpius had no doubt that if Lily really wanted to hurt someone, she could.

* * *

It seemed the few weeks back were determined to test Scorpius’ resolve. Not only had Albus dedicated himself to cheering Scorpius up after his apparent depression before the holidays, Scorpius found that with O.W.L. preparations in full swing, his workload had doubled.

He arrived to Dueling Club early, intent on using the empty classroom to squeeze in some additional studying for Charms, and found that he wasn’t the only person who’d had that idea.

Rose sat at one of the desks with her notes and books spread out around her. She turned around upon hearing the door open and Scorpius waved awkwardly.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Bread Head.”

Scorpius chuckled and closed the door behind himself.

“I don’t get to dueling practice often with Quidditch,” Rose explained. “I just thought I’d study until it started.”

“Same,” said Scorpius. She looked uncomfortable, so he pointed to a desk across the room. “I’ll just sit over here - so I don’t disturb you.”

Rose regarded him for a moment, then shook her head.

“No, it’s okay. Do you want to study together? My notes from Flitwick are kind of a mess.”

Scorpius approached her slowly, unsure. Rose had never spoken to him with anything less than mild annoyance without others around, and he sincerely didn’t want to make her dislike him again now that she found him somewhat tolerable.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said with a laugh and kicked the chair beside her out for him. “Come on.”

Scorpius sat down beside her and pulled out his charms notes before surveying hers. They were indeed a mess, and he was pleased to find that her handwriting was just as messy and incoherent as Albus’.

“Is bad handwriting a Weasley thing?” Scorpius asked, pointing to a word that barely looked like English. Rose nodded sadly.

“Unfortunately, yes,” she said. “Mum’s is perfect but dad’s is even worse than mine.”

“Well, fortunately I have some experience in deciphering Weasley handwriting,” said Scorpius, pulling out some fresh parchment. He began transcribing Rose’s notes, combining them with his own to create a complete set for her.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” she said with a smirk.

Together, they went through all the items Rose was unclear on, and Scorpius was glad to find she was at ease with him now, and her general haughtiness had been tempered.

When he checked his watch a while later, he was upset to find that the other students would be arriving soon.

“We’ve got about five minutes,” Scorpius told her. “Is there anything else you’re missing?”

Rose shook her head, idly levitating one of her quills off the desk.

“I think that’s it,” she said, raising and lowering her wand. How she managed to make even the most mundane task look effortless and cool, Scorpius had never understood.

“Great. Well, I’m glad you let me help you,” Scorpius said. “You know, before you beat me in a duel. Again.”

“You and I both know you let me win last time,” Rose said, looking at him as she let her quill fall to the desk. Some of the other students started filing in.

Scorpius gasped, feigning outrage and pressed a hand to his chest. “How dare you question my honor!”

Rose laughed - a genuine, real laugh. It was the kind he would have killed to get out of her six months ago. It would have been an achievement, and now he was just glad to have one more student at Hogwarts that didn’t seem to hate him.

Which, of course, was why he’d let her win the duel in the first place.

“Fine, fine,” Rose conceded. “I won fair and square.”

Scorpius smiled and started stacking up their papers and putting things away.

“You know, Malfoy,” Rose said as she got to her feet. “I think we can actually be friends now that you’ve stopped asking me out.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” said Rose. “If you’re good enough for Albus, you’re good enough for me.”

  
Scorpius beamed at her.

“How do you know I won’t keep trying to ask you out?”

Rose smiled at him again and leaned over. At first, he thought she was going to whisper something, and was shocked when she kissed his cheek before looking him in the eye, their noses mere centimeters apart.

“I’m pretty sure I’m not the Weasley you want.”

Scorpius stared at her, wide-eyed and horrified, studying her face for a long minute before she smirked and grabbed her bag off the desk, walking away to rejoin her friends.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Scorpius asked, his voice cracking.

Rose grinned at him over her shoulder and he didn’t speak for the entire meeting.

* * *

Albus was drawn slowly from a deep slumber by rustling sound coming from his right. It happened over and over again until he couldn’t ignore it anymore, and he pulled back the hangings on his bed to look at the clock.

Three in the morning. He was going to kill whoever had woken him at three in the morning.

He heard the rustling again and put his feet on the cold wooden floor, listening closely to identify his target.

Albus grabbed his wand from the top of his desk and whispered “ _lumos_.” He wanted to see his victim.

It wasn’t until he heard a murmur from Scorpius’ bed that he realized the sound was from him, and he got up, traversing the short distance between his bed and his best friend’s.

“Scorp?”

Now that he was awake, he was aware of Scorpius’ voice mingling with the rustling, and he pulled back the hangings just a bit to see.

Scorpius was tossing and turning, tangled in his sheets and blankets, murmuring incoherent things like “no,” and “Delphi” and “ _expecto patronum_.”

“Scorpius? Wake up.”

“No - _protego -_ sorry. No, _Albus_.”

The look of anguish on Scorpius’ face was too much to bear, and Albus set his illuminated wand down on the bedside table beside Scorpius’ latest book before pulling back the hangings more and grabbing Scorpius by the shoulders.

“Scorp - wake up,” he said firmly. He didn’t care if he woke the others. Scorpius looked like he was in pain - he _sounded_ terrified - and that was enough for Albus to disregard their dorm’s code of silence.

After a few tries, Scorpius woke with a deep, shuddering gasp and sat up, his eyes wide and terrified as he scrambled to sit up.

“Whoa, it’s okay,” said Albus, keeping his hands on Scorpius’ shoulders and sitting on the edge of the bed. He was sweating, and now that he was exposed to the cold air of the dorm, he was shivering. Albus grabbed the dislocated blanket and wrapped it around Scorpius’ shoulders quickly to shield him.

Scorpius caught his breath after a moment and looked at Albus, confused.

“What happened?” Scorpius whispered.

“You were having a bad dream,” Albus said quietly. “You were talking in your sleep.”

Scorpius looked terrified.

“What did I say?”

“Something about Delphi. I think you were trying to protect yourself from some Dementors. I think you said my name too.”

Scorpius looked down at the foot of his bed and nodded.

“That sounds right.”

“You told me the dreams had stopped.”

Scorpius looked at him, apologetic, and Albus’ heart sank.

“Scorp, you should have told me.”

“What could you have done?” Scorpius asked. “They’re just nightmares.”

“That sounded awful,” said Albus. “Truly. How often is it like this?”

Scorpius shrugged, but he still looked shaken.

“This one was particularly bad.” Scorpius said, “It’s not usually like this.”

Albus knew that look, even in the dark.

“So it happens a lot.”

Scorpius nodded and bowed his head as if he were ashamed. Albus placed his hand on Scorpius’ arm, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“You can wake me up, you know,” said Albus. “It’s okay.”

Scorpius smiled at him sadly and shook his head.

“It’s okay,” Scorpius said, resting his head on his knees. “Really.”

Albus could barely make out his expression with just a faint glow coming from his wand, but Scorpius looked like he was calm - maybe even smiling a bit.

“Think you can go back to sleep?”

“Yeah,” Scorpius said, sliding back down into the covers. “I’ll be fine.”

Albus watched him lay back down, unable to look away. Scorpius’ hair almost glowed in the faint light.

“I’ll stay here until you fall asleep,” Albus said, but it was clear Scorpius was already halfway there.

“You don’t have to,” mumbled Scorpius, hugging his pillow close.

“I want to,” said Albus quietly. Scorpius’ eyes were already closed, but Albus stayed there, watching as his breaths slowed and his face relaxed. Scorpius had looked to tense over the last few weeks that it was a welcome sight, and Albus raised his hand to brush the hair back from his face, but thought better of it.

After a few minutes of watching Scorpius breathe slowly, Albus went back over to his bed where he stared at the ceiling, thinking for a long time about how his sweet, kind, dork of a best friend didn’t deserve to have nightmares because Albus had made the stupid decision to jump off a train.

* * *

Scorpius got to the Great Hall a little later than normal, disheveled. The poor night’s sleep had left him groggy and slow, so he’d sent Albus down to breakfast without him.

When he arrived at the Slytherin table, Albus was already there with his coffee poured and his plate laden with Scorpius’ usual breakfast foods.

“What’s all this?” Scorpius asked, sitting down.

“Thought I’d get your breakfast ready,” Albus said through a mouthful of toast. “Knew you had a bad night.”

Scorpius blushed, which made Albus smile.

“Thank you for waking me up,” Scorpius said. “And... and for staying with me until I fell asleep.”

Albus smiled warmly.

“Of course,” said Albus. Scorpius looked down at his plate and started picking at it. Albus smiling at him like that wasn’t helping his resolve.

 _Just friends_ , thought Scorpius. _Crushes fade, right?_

* * *

By the time Albus and Scorpius walked into Potions class, Scorpius was exhausted and Albus had insisted upon carrying both their bags. Before going to his own station, he set Scorpius’ things down at his seat next to Maggie, which gave Scorpius just enough time to look at the board and swear loudly.

“Oh, fuck.”

The assignment had to be truly hard to make Scorpius curse. Albus turned around and saw the day’s assignment on the board as Scorpius sank into his seat.

 _Amortentia_.

“I’m so excited,” said Maggie. “I don’t think I’ve met the person I’m meant to fall in love with yet, so I’m really itching to find out what he might smell like someday.”

“I thought this was sixth year stuff,” said Albus, looking back to Scorpius whose expression of misery was accentuated by the dark circles under his eyes.

“It is,” said Scorpius. “But we decided to take _advanced_ Potions because we’re idiots.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Maggie exclaimed. “It’ll be fun!”

Professor Slughorn called the students to order, and Albus gave Scorpius one last sympathetic look before joining Rose at their station.

“What are you going to do if yours smells like bread, Rosie?” Albus teased, earning him a punch in the arm.

“What do you think yours will be?”

“I don’t know,” said Albus with a shrug. “I haven’t given it much thought.”

* * *

Scorpius didn’t want to lean over the cauldron. In the final stages of preparation, he’d stayed as far away from it as possible as if it held something dangerous and lethal.

“Come on, it’s almost done!” said Maggie, adding the last of the ingredients. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” said Scorpius, his voice cracking. Clearly, he was not fine.

Maggie, eager, laid down the ladle and leaned over the cauldron, breathing in the pale, shining steam.

“What’s it smell like?” Scorpius asked.

“Mmmmm,” Maggie hummed. “It’s firewhisky and saltwater. Something that smells like broomstick polish. And something else I can’t...”

Maggie smiled and rested her head on her hand for a moment, just breathing in the vapor. She looked peaceful - not at all like Albus and Rose across the room, who were bickering.

“Come on,” Maggie said, tugging at Scorpius’ sleeve. “You’ve got to at least try.”

Scorpius knew she was right, but he really didn’t want to know. In almost everything, Scorpius knew what he wanted even if he couldn’t have it, but now, he didn’t know if he wanted the potion to smell like Albus so he could at least reach a place of acceptance (and begin filing his transfer paperwork for Ilvermorny), or if he wanted it to smell like something he’d never encountered before - the woman or man he’d someday fall in love with.

He leaned over the cauldron tentatively and inhaled a mixture of things he could identify immediately - grass, fresh linen and a little bit of amber.

Everything that Albus smelled like at the end of the day.

Scorpius placed his elbows on the tables and rested his face in his hands.

It smelled wonderful. It smelled like _home_ and he hated it.

“What did you smell?” Maggie asked.

“Apples and candy,” Scorpius lied. “It smells very sweet for me. Doesn’t remind me of anyone.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Maggie said lightly. “I bet she’ll be wonderful.”

Scorpius looked through his fingers at Albus and Rose, who were leaning over their cauldron for the first time. Rose shook her head violently and backed away, clearly unhappy and Albus folded his arms, staring down into the cauldron, very still.

 _I wonder what Albus smelled_ , Scorpius thought before turning his face into his hands again.

* * *

“What the hell does that even mean?” asked Albus, confused.

“This is baffling,” Rose agreed. “I don’t even know what this smells like.”

“It’d help if we were smelling the same thing.”

“What’s yours smell like?” Rose asked, looking up at Albus.

“I think…” he leaned over the cauldron again, his face scrunched in confusion. “It’s parchment. No. Books. It’s book glue. And leather, I think? Like the way my watch smells. And… it’s pumpkin juice, I think. And the way my bed smells when I’ve got clean sheets.”

“Who the hell smells like that?”

“A very wealthy house elf, I guess,” Albus said. “It kind of just smells… comfortable.”

Albus folded his arms and shook his head.

“I can’t even identify this,” Rose said. “It’s like… flowers. And that woody smell at the edge of the forest.”

“Weird.”

“Um, Al?”

“Yeah?”

“I think… you might want to go check on Scorpius.”

Albus turned around and saw Scorpius slumped in his seat, his face in his hands sitting still as a statue.

“Oh, no,” said Albus.

Around the room, girls were giggling and the boys were exchanging lewd remarks. Albus wove through them to where Scorpius and Maggie sat.

“What’s wrong, mate?” Albus said quietly as Maggie chatted with a Ravenclaw girl about what her potion smelled like.

“Nothing,” Scorpius said.

“We’ve established you’re a terrible liar,” said Albus flatly. “You can tell me. What did it smell like?”

“No one I know,” Scorpius said, sitting up and snapping his book closed. Albus had never seen him treat a textbook so aggressively.

“Oh,” said Albus. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find her someday.”

Scorpius sighed and shook his head and Albus smiled at him.

“At least Rose doesn’t have to worry. It didn’t smell like bread.”

“No,” Scorpius said distantly, staring at nothing in particular across the room. “No, it definitely didn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates. These chapters are long and I've been super busy (I do have a very expensive book habit to fund), but things should be clearing up now. If you're reading this, I hope you're still enjoying the ongoing Scorbus love, and that you're having a lovely day.
> 
> xoxo,  
> SP


	4. Spring

Winter seemed shorter than usual and Scorpius was grateful for the moderated weather. It gave him an excuse to escape the castle and wander the grounds when being cooped up inside got to be too much.

By the time his birthday approached in the middle of March, Albus was growing more and more distant. Slytherin had done well throughout the Quidditch season, and they had a real shot at the cup, so he had been practicing every free minute to ensure he did his best, which was just fine with Scorpius, who was able to think more clearly when Albus wasn’t around.

He lay out by the lake one evening when the weather was mild, watching the sun set with his head resting on his folded robes. It had been a quiet day, full of studying and tests - the kind that kept him busy and distracted - followed by a brief Dueling Club meeting, where he’d bested three of his fellow members, including one of Rose’s friends.

It hadn’t been a particularly bad day, Scorpius thought, stretching out in the grass, but he still felt empty. He played with the blades of grass beneath his fingertips idly, staring up at the bright sunset colors in the sky.

“What are you doing out here?”

Scorpius looked up and saw Albus standing over him with his arms folded, still dressed in his dirty Quidditch uniform. Scorpius reached up and tugged at the hem of his robes. He was rather fond of how the uniform looked on Albus. His last growth spurt had treated him well.

“How’d you find me?”

“This has been your favorite spot since second year.”

“Well, then that’s what I’m doing out here,” Scorpius answered as Albus plopped onto the ground beside him. “I’m enjoying my favorite spot.”

“I’ve barely seen you this week,” Albus said. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“I know,” Scorpius sighed, twirling a small weed flower between his fingertips. “We’ve both been keeping busy.”

He looked over at Albus, who was leaning on his side. He was looking down at Scorpius, unhappy.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Albus accused.

“I have not.”

“You have,” Albus said. “And I know when you’re lying. You’re a terrible liar - your ears go pink.”

Scorpius grimaced and sat up, pulling his hair down to cover his ears.

“Listen,” Albus started. “I can’t pretend I know what’s going on - clearly there’s been something bothering you, and I wish you’d tell me - you can tell me anything - but if you don’t want to, that’s okay.”

Albus looked at him intently. Scorpius gazed out across the lake’s still surface. It was easier than looking at him, but far less pleasant.

“I just...” Albus continued, struggling. “I miss my best friend. So if you could come back a little, that would be great.”

Scorpius sighed and rested his chin against his knees.

“I’m sorry, Al,” he said. There was no point in denying something was wrong, but Scorpius still didn’t have the nerve to talk about it. “I’m trying.”

“I know you are,” Albus said. Scorpius felt his hand on his back, encouraging and warm, and smiled in spite of himself, and they sat there by the lake until the sun had set and the sky went dark.

* * *

“Scorp?”

Albus shook Scorpius in his sleep for the second time that term. He was thrashing violently in his sleep, and murmuring incoherently - enough that even Farley had stirred a bit across the room.

“Damn it,” Albus muttered. He shook Scorpius harder, pulling him into a sitting position roughly. It was enough, and Scorpius’ eyes snapped open and he looked around wildly, afraid.

“It’s okay,” Albus said quickly. “You’re fine.”

Scorpius didn’t seem to hear him and Albus wasn’t sure he saw him either. He gave Scorpius’ cheek a pat until he turned, shaking his head, and looked at him.

“Al?”

“You had another nightmare,” Albus whispered. Scorpius wrapped his arms around his waist and hung his head. “O.W.L.s got you that stressed?”

Scorpius sighed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry I woke you. Again.”

“It’s okay,” Albus said quietly, scooting closer on the edge of the bed. “It’s kind of my fault, isn’t it? I got us into that mess.”

“I could have stopped you,” Scorpius said, and Albus smiled so warmly that he couldn’t look away.

“You probably could have,” Albus said. “I wouldn’t have gone anywhere without you.”

Scorpius looked at him for a long moment. He was so close, sitting on the edge of his bed in his too-short pajamas with his messy hair and sleepy eyes, and Scorpius smiled at him, reminded that despite all of his loneliness, Albus was an excellent friend and he was lucky.

“What was it this time?” Albus asked.

“Same as usual,” Scorpius said, fidgeting with the edges of his sheets.

“You were muttering,” Albus told him. “Something about betrayal.”

Scorpius groaned.

“Yeah. It was you and Umbridge and Delphi this time,” Scorpius admitted. “I don’t remember the specifics.”

He did remember. He’d been in the Black Forest like so many times before, surrounded by hooded figures with Delphi at the front. Albus lay dead at her feet, and Delphi kept saying over and over again that it was his fault - that Scorpius had betrayed his friend.

But he wasn’t going to tell Albus that.

“Can you go back to sleep?” Albus asked gently.

Scorpius shook his head and looked at the clock.

“I don’t think so,” Scorpius said. “It’s Saturday anyway, right? I’ll just go to the common room and read for a bit.”

Albus nodded and grabbed Scorpius’ book from his nightstand, and grabbed the notes he’d been studying earlier in the evening from his desk.

“Come on.”

“Al, you don’t have to. Go back to bed.”

But Albus was already headed for the door. Scorpius sighed and pulled the blanket from the foot of his bed and followed Albus out quietly as Flint continued to snore.

He padded down the hallway barefoot, his toes freezing on the stone floor. The ever-present fire was still roaring when he reached the common room, and Albus settled into the corner of the couch closest to the hearth.

“You didn’t have to get up just because I said I couldn’t sleep.”

Albus shrugged. “Sleep now, study later or study now and sleep later. It doesn’t make much of a difference. I’m not playing this weekend anyway.”

Scorpius took his place on the other cushion and curled up under his blanket, making sure the edge covered Albus’ bare toes.

“What are you studying?”

“All of those Care of Magical Creatures specifics,” Albus said, shuffling through the parchment. Scorpius could see his eyes were heavy, but he was still up because he wouldn’t leave Scorpius alone after such a nightmare. “Mostly the potions to use on the water creatures.”

“Tell me about them,” Scorpius requested.

“Why?”

“You always learn best when you teach somebody something,” Scorpius said. “And Creatures has always been one of your favorites. So teach me.”

Albus gave him a little smile and began to read. Scorpius drew his knees to his chest and leaned into the couch, tired but still listening as Albus told him all the potions that worked on grindylows. His voice had changed in the last five years - Albus sounded more confident when he spoke and he was more sure of himself when he spoke in class and to the other students, and Scorpius liked that. It meant Albus was himself more of the time, and even if it meant he had to share Albus’ attention, Albus was happy, and that was all he could hope for.

* * *

Albus had been reading silently for more than an hour when he noticed a glow beginning to filter in from the lake windows. The sun was just beginning to rise, and he was already considering the long nap he’d take in the afternoon.

Scorpius had curled up into a ball in the corner of the couch with his head resting against the back cushion, his face half turned into his blanket, and Albus had found himself watching him breathe several times while trying to study.

The rest of the house would be rising soon, and he knew Scorpius would wake, ready for breakfast. He loved the elaborate weekend breakfasts with croissants and ten types of jam spread across all the tables and Albus knew he’d wake up and throw his clothes on, ready to head down to the great hall.

So instead of reading his notes over and over again, he carefully leaned forward and set his parchment down on the coffee table and curled up himself, watching Scorpius sleep, his face peaceful and calm - so unlike the excited or anxious Scorpius he’d been seeing lately.

Albus watched him, his own eyelids feeling heavy as he rested against an oversized pillow. He was lucky, he knew, that he had Scorpius who would give up all that power to come back to a reality where he was bullied and ridiculed just for him.

He smiled as he started to drift off again, thinking that he’d have to humor Scorpius today and actually try all ten types of jam and help him decide empirically which was the best.

 _Dork_.

* * *

The last place Albus expected to see increased popularity stemming from a triumphant win on the Quidditch pitch was in the library, but there he was, sitting at a table with three girls - two Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff, all of whom seemed very interested in every word he had to say.

“So do you think you’ll go pro one day?” Phoebe Ryan asked. She was pretty, Albus thought - not as head-turning as the other two, but unique with light eyes and tanned skin under a cascade of black curls.

“Er, no,” Albus said. “I’m not cut out for it. Frankly, I’m not even sure how I made the team.”

“Oh, don’t be humble,” said Casey Marcus. “You were brilliant in these last two games.”

“We barely won the game against Hufflepuff,” Albus said flatly. “You must have been watching - your house was playing. And your brother.”

Jenna Greene shuffled her books around. “I’m just not sure how some of you do it,” she said. “With all this O.W.L. prep I barely have time to eat, much less take on extracurriculars.”

“Well, it’s easy when Scorpius takes such comprehensive notes,” Albus admitted. “I never have to fill in the gaps. He just has all of the info right there.”

“I hear Ravenclaws don’t share their notes very often,” said Casey. “Is that true?”

“No,” Casey replied. “Actually, we’re not as competitive as everyone thinks. Leave that to the Slytherins and Gryffindors.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true,” Casey said, apologetic. “Though I can’t say it isn’t an... attractive trait.”

Albus continued copying Jenna’s potions notes. With Rose in the hospital wing with a nasty case of the Black Cat flu and Scorpius busy with Dueling Club, he’d had to take drastic measures and ask for outside help. It took him a moment to realize Casey had been flirting, and by the time he looked up, bemused, the moment was gone.

He did, however, meet eyes with a disheveled looking Scorpius who had just entered the library. Dueling Club seemed to have gotten the better of him, and he raised his hand to wave him over, but Scorpius shook his head, gesturing to the girls around him, who all had their heads down over their homework.

“What’s going on?” Scorpius mouthed at him.

“I don’t know,” Albus mouthed back with a shrug. He felt about as confused as Scorpius looked.

Scorpius craned around on his toes to identify the girls from a distance and, satisfied, gave him a sad thumbs up before turning on his heel and walking dejectedly from the room.

Albus looked at the three of them for a moment, thoroughly bewildered, before reapplying himself to his potions homework and consulting Jenna’s notes.

After a few minutes, he realized it was quiet - too quiet - and that he might not have the opportunity to sit with three pretty girls in the library again, so he better take advantage of it.

“Hey, Jenna?”

“Yes?” She didn’t look up from her parchment.

“You, um... have really nice handwriting.”

She paused for a moment and looked up at him with a small but satisfied smile. In his periphery, he could see that Casey and Phoebe were taken aback - though he wasn’t entirely sure why.

“Thank you?”

It sounded more like a question than thanks, so Albus elaborated.

“Yeah, I really like what you do with your ‘s’s,” he said. “They’re kind of sideways and -”

Someone hushed them loudly from the next table over and Albus sank down in his chair, grinning.

Jenna leaned over a bit and whispered to him. “Thanks.”

Albus could do little more than smile at her until she turned back to her homework, and his cheeks were red for several minutes after.

* * *

“It’s just that we have _routines,_ you know,” Scorpius protested. For the last week Albus had been having breakfast at the Ravenclaw table with _her_ and Scorpius was getting rather irritated.

“Well, yeah,” said Albus, pulling on his uniform - something Scorpius tried not to watch lately, but he was already committed to the conversation and he had to see it through. “But neither of us has had a girl that wanted to have breakfast with us before, so... uncharted territory?”

“Well, can we at least be normal today?” Scorpius asked. “I need to go over these notes with you before we head out for Easter holiday tomorrow morning.”

“I can’t,” Albus replied, fumbling with his tie. “I promised Jenna -”

“Of course you did,” Scorpius said, shaking his head. He grabbed his robes from the hook on the wall and pulled them on roughly. “I should have known this would happen as soon as you got a girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Albus protested. “She’s a friend who happens to be a girl and I wanted to hang out with her!”

“You didn’t even like her until two weeks ago,” Scorpius said.

“Well, I like her now and I like having meals with her -”

“Because you want her to be your girlfriend.”

“At least I’d have one!” Albus shot back and Scorpius stared at him, open-mouthed. Albus realized his mistake immediately and held his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Scorp -”

“Yeah, you did,” Scorpius said, nodding. He could feel a prickly stinging rising up the back of his neck and he avoided Albus’ eyes as he grabbed his bag from atop his trunk. “It’s fine if you want to ignore your best friend for a girl you just met, but at least own up to it.”

“Scorpius...”

Albus reached out to grab his arm, but Scorpius backed away quickly.

It was hard enough watching Albus flirt from across the room and in the halls - bad enough that he had to see it and be silent. He didn’t need Albus’ pity too.

“Enjoy your breakfast,” Scorpius mumbled before fleeing the room.

He crossed through the common room and saw Flint, Farley and Pucey sitting in a circle, flipping through their notes.

“Hey, Scorpius!” Farley called. “Can you help us with this Charms assignment?”

“Not now,” Scorpius snapped. He walked past them and shouldered the portal door open and didn’t realize until he was halfway down the corridor that it was the first time he’d ever denied a fellow Slytherin help.

* * *

There were two things that could happen if Scorpius took the Hogwarts Express back to London for Easter break - he’d have to listen to hours of Albus apologizing and acting like nothing was wrong, or he’d have to spend hours watching Albus flirt with Jenna Greene. Both options turned his stomach, so late at night he’d sent an owl to his father, requesting he be retrieved via Floo early in the morning - the earlier, the better.

One of the Slytherin prefects woke him near seven o’clock - well before the other boys would be waking on a Saturday. McGonagall had sent for him, and he was advised not to tarry, so he grabbed his things off the floor as quietly as possible.

He’d never left Hogwarts without saying goodbye to Albus, and it felt so wrong that he hesitated - wanting to apologize and make some excuse about why he was leaving - but the hangings were drawn around Albus’ bed. He stared at them for a long moment, wanting to pull them back and apologize before wishing him a Happy Easter, but thought better of it and left the dorm, heading for Professor McGonagall’s office.

* * *

“And he just left without saying goodbye,” Albus said for the fifth time, staring out the window as the Scottish countryside whizzed by. The Hogwarts Express wasn’t as full as it usually was - fewer students went home for the Easter Holiday than any other - and Albus knew he should be taking advantage of having an entire compartment to himself with Jenna, but he was used to having an entire compartment to himself with Scorpius and didn’t know what to do with his hands without a massive pile of sweets next to him.

“I’m sure he had a reason,” Jenna replied. She was stretched out across the seats opposite him and sounded quite bored as she filled out her third crossword puzzle.

Albus was fairly certain this was the first time he’d seen her out of her uniform, but she’d still stuck to the Ravenclaw colors - jeans and a light blue sweater. He knew he needed to get his act together. She was just the kind of person he’d like to bring home to his parents over the summer - smart and pretty with a dry sense of humor not unlike his father’s.

“Sorry,” Albus said. “I guess I’m just wound a little tight. O.W.L.s and everything.”

“You don’t say,” she replied sarcastically, glancing over at him. Albus tried to smile at her, but reacted too late - she was already staring back at her crossword puzzle.

“So...” Albus started, fidgeting with the strap of his bag. “Feeling ready for O.W.L.s?”

“Somewhat,” Jenna said. He relaxed, relieved that she was talking to him again. “Do you?”

“No, but Scorpius always makes me study until we’ve covered all the guides,” Albus said. “He’s really the only reason I’ve passed Transfiguration these last two years -”

Albus cut himself off when he saw her roll her eyes and turn back to her newspaper. He knew that look. It was the look Aunt Hermione gave Uncle Ron when he needed to shut up.

* * *

“You’re moping about something,” Draco declared over dinner. Scorpius hardly heard him and continued pushing peas around on his plate.

“Am not.”

“You are,” Draco said, setting his silverware down and folding his hands. “At least tell me what’s going on. The gist. You don’t have to use names. Tell me what I can do.”

Scorpius thought for a moment that maybe his father deserved to know at least some of the story and he looked across the table, weighing his options. Draco looked more concerned than he had in a long time, but still, Scorpius couldn’t see any path between where he was and telling his father he was most definitely not straight and was more than likely not even bisexual since he couldn’t even _picture_ himself with a girl.

Then again, no one had ever had the effect Albus had on him, so he was working with evidence from an incomplete study.

“Can you make someone who could never look at me as more than a friend fall in love with me?” Scorpius asked, his voice quavering over the word _love_. He’d never said it aloud in regard to anyone but his parents.

Draco’s face fell into an expression of sad pity. _No_ , Scorpius corrected himself. _Sympathy._

“Do you have a spell for that, dad?” Scorpius asked. “Is there something for that upstairs in the attic with all the other things you hide?”

Draco folded his hands under his chin and regarded Scorpius for a minute, his eyes never leaving his son’s. Scorpius stared back, and he knew this was the longest he’d held his father’s gaze since his mother died.

“I don’t have a spell for that,” Draco admitted. “I wish I did. But I do think I know something we can do to make you feel better.”

* * *

Albus paced in the kitchen behind Harry as he did the dishes. He was nervous and aggravated - he’d been that way since he stepped off the train the day before, and try as he might to calm down, he just couldn’t do it.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there any way to see if someone is home without Flooing to their house?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, second question - can I have some Floo powder?”

“Who do you need to see, Al?” Harry asked. He turned and dried his hands on a dish towel, looking weary. He’d walked in from work barely two minutes before dinner was ready, and had thus been subjected to Ginny’s cooking. It was enough to drain anyone after a long day at work.

“Scorpius,” Albus admitted. “We got into a fight and he left before I could talk to him.”

“Draco picked him up?”

Albus nodded. “Had him Floo home, I guess.”

“Did you try writing?”

“I sent him an owl this morning, but it came back unopened.”

Harry frowned. “Are they out of town?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Albus said, realizing that was the most likely explanation. “But sometimes they just go places because they can. All that Malfoy money.”

Harry laughed. “We need to go places,” he admitted. “I feel bad that your mom and I are working all the time and we never get to.”

“You both love your jobs. I understand.”

Harry smiled at him. “You’ve changed a lot in the last year.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Good. You’re still you. But it’s good.”

Albus smiled. It meant something that his father seemed proud of him, even if he didn’t say as much.

“I’ll check on the Malfoys tomorrow,” Harry assured him. “If they’re home, I’ll let you know and you can head over there.”

“Thanks, dad,” Albus said as Harry handed him a Butterbeer.

“Movie?”

“Certainly.”

* * *

Draco always liked the finer things in life - good clothes, fine wine, and the best restaurants - but Scorpius was a much simpler creature and wasn’t afraid to use his father’s sympathy to his advantage and avoid another evening cooped up in some pretentious restaurant.

“I love the food,” Scorpius had said. “But can we please be outside tonight?”

He’d known his father would agree, and when they wound up sitting on a blanket under the Eiffel Tower, Scorpius was both pleased his plan had worked and amused at his father’s awkwardness.

“They could at least put tables out here,” Draco said. “This is absurd. There are _bugs_.”

“It’s great,” said Scorpius, “I needed a distraction. Thanks for bringing me.”

“I haven’t come here since your mother passed,” Draco admitted. It was the first time Scorpius had heard him mention his mother in passing, and he didn’t want it to go unnoticed.

“She liked Paris?” Scorpius asked. “I remember coming here when I was really young, but I can’t recall everything.”

Draco took a deep breath and arranged himself to sit cross-legged on the blanket, facing the tower.

“Your mum loved this city,” Draco told him. “It just... fit her.”

Scorpius thought of his mother - tall and elegant, graceful when she walked. Draco didn’t need to explain. He understood.

“Tell me?”

“One of the few things your grandfather did right was let me use the Malfoy fortune for whatever I wanted, no questions asked - and I did just that when I was courting your mother.”

Scorpius smiled as they looked up at the tower together. It was so like his father to use the word _courting._

“I took her a lot of places that year - it took some convincing. Her family didn’t like her traveling. They were afraid she’d fall ill abroad and I wouldn’t know what to do, so every time we went somewhere I would spend days compiling lists of healers in each place we’d be.”

“You did?”

“Yes, it took some doing,” Draco said, smiling. “I think that’s the only reason her father let her marry me.”

“I’m sure it’s not the only reason.”

“I had quite a reputation, Scorpius,” Draco admitted. “I wasn’t exactly the eligible bachelor my parents wanted me to be. But instead of just having dinner with your mother and going to the theater, I took her to New York and the French Riviera. We went to Ibiza and Tokyo and Hong Kong, and we came here more than once because it’s close and she loved it _so much_.”

Scorpius wasn’t sure if looking at Draco would make it easier or harder, but he did it anyway. His father was looking up at the Eiffel Tower and it was clear that talking about Astoria pained him - that speaking of their youth was difficult - but he still had a small smile on his face.

“We don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to,” Scorpius said quietly. “I know it isn’t easy.”

“We have to talk about her, Scorpius,” Draco said. He turned and looked at his son, defiant. “We’ve gone too long without talking about her. It’s the only way we’ll keep her memory alive. It’s the only way we’ll be able to cope.”

Draco looked back up at the tower. The sun had nearly set and Scorpius had insisted they wait until the tower lights come on, because he just had to see it.

“I don’t think I ever told you this, but I proposed to her here.”

“You did? Was it elaborate?”

Draco laughed sadly and shook his head. “You’d think, but no. I knew I was going to and I was waiting for the perfect moment - something ideal - but she was just standing on this bridge on the Seine and she was so beautiful and she was laughing at something. Suddenly, I was down on one knee.”

“That’s... really lovely,” Scorpius thought. He pictured his father young, not looking unlike himself, kneeling in front of Astoria, who was so beautiful that she carried that beauty to the grave. It was a pretty image that was easy to conjure when he was sitting there with his father on the Champ de Mars, but he wanted to take it with him and hold onto it.

“So whoever this girl is that’s got you so sad,” Draco said, looking to his son, “she’ll either see that you’re an excellent young man, or she’s not the right girl. And one day I hope you’ll be as in love with someone as I was with your mother. And still am.”

Scorpius studied his father’s face. Draco wasn’t old by any means, and his face had grown kind with time and Astoria’s influence, and his expression was so full of fondness that Scorpius found him hard to look at. He didn’t deserve it.

“All I want is for you to be happy, Scorpius,” Draco said. Scorpius looked away from him - it felt like he was lying when he didn’t correct Draco’s assumption that it was a girl he was pining for, and Scorpius hated feeling like a liar.

Instead, he calmly plucked Draco’s hand from its resting place atop his knee and held it tightly, looking up at the tower as the lights came on and it began to glitter.

* * *

If Scorpius hadn’t taken the Hogwarts Express from school, he certainly didn’t want to be taking it back. He used the Floo network to arrive just in time for his first class back, leaving himself barely enough time to drop his rucksack off in the Slytherin dorm.

He felt both lighter and heavier at the same time, he realized, as he walked down the halls, weaving silently through the students who wouldn’t move out of the way for him or that just ignored his presence altogether.

Someday he’d move on, just like his father said. There was someone out there for him, even if it wasn’t Albus, and even though the idea stung now, he tried to convince himself that everything would be okay.

But the idea that he could be the last Malfoy weighed on him - that he was the last bit of his mother left in the world - and the idea of there being nothing left of Astoria was worse than all the nightmares he’d ever had combined.

Still lost in his thoughts, Scorpius stepped into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom just as Professor Scamander was beginning the lesson, and ducked down to avoid notice. Scamander was notorious for calling students out on their tardiness, though it was mostly in jest.

“Mr. Malfoy!” said Scamander from the front of the room. Scorpius sighed and straightened up, and saw Albus spin around in his seat so fast that Scorpius was certain he’d break his neck.

“So good of you to grace us with your presence,” Scamander continued and Scorpius mumbled a half-hearted apology as Albus stared him down. The seat next to him was vacant, and Scorpius didn’t see any other viable alternatives that didn’t involve sitting next to some particularly nasty Gryffindors, so he slipped into his usual seat.

Scamander started prattling on about advanced shield spells and Scorpius busied himself searching for the notebook. His father had replaced his older bag with a new, sturdier leather one from Paris, and he was afraid he might have left his supplies downstairs.

Albus slid a clean piece of parchment and a spare quill over to him silently, and Scorpius finally worked up the nerve to look up at him.

 _Nope. Don’t feel lighter anymore_.

Scorpius pressed his lips into a hard line, waiting for Albus to say something, but instead, Albus turned and scratched something into the fresh parchment with the quill and, after a moment, slid it back over for Scorpius to read.

_“Sorry for being a prat. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I tried to get in touch but my owls came back and dad said your house was empty.”_

Scorpius hadn’t considered that Albus would have tried to reach him, or that he’d apologize so completely. He took the quill from Albus’ hand and made sure Scamander wasn’t paying attention to them before writing his reply.

_“Dad took me to Paris._

_I’m sorry too.”_

Albus smiled at him so warmly that Scorpius wondered how he’d managed to avoid developing a crush on Albus sooner, and he smiled back before starting to take notes for class.

* * *

Maggie was sitting on the coffee table beside Albus. All the other seats nearby were taken, and she needed to be part of this very important conversation.

“So who are you all taking to the dance?”

Farley rolled his eyes and leaned back into the couch.

“It’s barely even a dance,” Farley protested. “It’s just their little end-of-term party. It’s a pat on the back before they send us home.”

“Well, after O.W.L.s are done, we’ll deserve it.”

“If we survive it,” muttered Albus.

Scorpius sat off to the side, curled up in an armchair with a particularly oppressive looking book. Albus knew what his trying-not-to-listen face looked like, and he was wearing it very poorly as Flint started listing off the girls he’d like to take.

“Well, I don’t think Rose Granger-Weasley would say yes to a Slytherin, so that rules her out,” he said. Albus was sure he heard Scorpius snort in derision.

“And the rest of her followers,” Farley supplemented.

“There’s Casey Marcus. Or Jenna Greene -”

“Isn’t Albus taking Jenna?” Maggie asked.

“Isn’t Albus what?”

“Aren’t you going with Jenna? I don’t mean to pry, but you’ve been hanging around together a lot.”

“We’re not dating,” Albus said, feeling himself start to blush. “I mean, we’re just friends. We work on Potions homework together.”

“Oh,” said Maggie, surprised. “I just thought... well, I’m sure she’d say yes. I’ve heard her mention you a few times.”

Albus considered the idea. Jenna was lovely - everything he’d want in a girl. If Maggie had some kind of inside knowledge on which girls might be willing to go to the dance with him, he wasn’t too proud to use it.

“Maybe I’ll ask her,” Albus said thoughtfully, then smiled. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“What about you, Malfoy?” Pucey asked.

“What about me?”

“What lucky lady are you going to ask to the dance?”

“There’s no lucky lady,” Scorpius said. “I probably won’t be going.”

“Oh, why not?” asked Maggie. “I’m sure there are lots of girls who would love to go with you.”

“I highly doubt that,” Scorpius replied, turning the page and squinting at the small text. “I’m still the Son of Voldemort, remember?”

Albus frowned at him. He hated seeing Scorpius like this. It was such a wild contrast from the excited, geeky version that he’d come to admire - the one that made him smile - that he’d do just about anything to remedy it.

“Maybe Jenna has a friend? We could all go together.”

“That sounds horrible,” said Scorpius, looking up from his book for the first time. Albus looked surprised and Scorpius qualified his response. “Pity dates aren’t the Malfoy way.”

“But your dad put you through all those ballroom dance lessons a few years ago,” Albus reminded him. “You’re an excellent dancer.”

“I’m a passable dancer, and my answer is still no,” said Scorpius. He closed his book and stood up, smoothing out his jumper. “I’m headed to the library. Got a few things I need to look up.”

“Oh. Alright,” said Albus. Scorpius waved goodbye to them all and slipped from the common room.

“Does he seem a bit irritable to you?” Maggie asked.

“He’s been irritable half the year,” Farley said.

Albus looked at the portal where Scorpius had disappeared, thinking back. He _had_ seemed irritable for half the year, but Albus knew better - Scorpius wasn’t being petulant for the fun of it. Something had been bothering him for months, and he wasn’t talking about it, which meant it was either serious or something Albus had done.

“You know, I’m going to head to the library too,” Albus said, grabbing his bag from the floor and standing. “I’ll see you lot later.”

“Ask Jenna out if you see her!” Maggie said. “Don’t wait too long!”

“I won’t,” Albus assured her as he headed toward the portal. “But you have to pick between these three since they’re all planning to ask you.”

“Albus!”

“Why?”

“You prat.”

“I’m doing you a solid,” Albus told them as they glared at him from the couch. He saw Maggie grinning, clearly pleased with herself. “Now at least one of you will have a date.”

Judging by the look on Flint’s face, he was going to pay for this, but Maggie’s giggle and wink told him she owed him one.

* * *

“Scorpius?”

Albus found him sitting at a table towards the back of the library - a corner so remote and dusty that Scorpius had lit a lantern and had it settled at the center of the table.

“Oh. Hi.”

Albus pointed at the chair opposite him.

“Is it okay if I join you?”

“Yes. Um - I was just reading on the history of Wizengamot Chief Warlocks,” he said, holding up his book.

Albus smiled and sat across from him. “You’re such a dork.”

“It’s in my DNA,” said Scorpius. “Though I think my mother wore her geekiness better than I do.”

“I highly doubt that,” Albus said, his voice gentle enough that Scorpius looked at him for a second too long.

“Scorp, you need to tell me what’s going on,” Albus said. His voice was soft, but the demand was clear. Scorpius couldn’t continue running any longer, and he swallowed hard.

“I have no idea what you’re -”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about,” Albus said. “You’ve been acting strange since the fall - avoiding me, being quiet -”

“I can be quiet sometimes.”

“Interrupting me to say that doesn’t make your point,” Albus said. “You barely wrote to me over the holidays, and you all but had a nervous breakdown during the potions.”

Scorpius wrinkled his nose. “I was hoping you’d forgotten that.”

“I’m not forgetting it,” Albus said. “And you’ve been avoiding doing a lot of things, and then you got mad at me for ignoring you.”

“That was unfair,” Scorpius admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“So whatever it is, I need you to tell me, because it’s clearly getting to you. I don’t know if you need a reminder, but you should know you can trust me,” Albus said, folding his hands atop the table. He tried his hardest to keep his face and tone calm, because he didn’t want Scorpius running away or feeling uncomfortable, and judging by the contemplative look on his face, Albus was making the right call.

They stared at each other for nearly a minute before Scorpius’ hardened expression cracked, and he looked down, fidgeting with the sleeves of his robes.

“If I tell you,” he began slowly, “you have to promise that we’ll still be friends. And that you won’t judge me.”

“There is _nothing_ you can say that will stop me from being your friend,” Albus said, so confident that Scorpius actually believed him. “No matter what. I’m not going anywhere. If you’ve killed someone, though, don’t tell me because I don’t want to be the reason you go to Azkaban.”

Scorpius laughed and Albus was relieved, even though he sounded nervous.

“I haven’t... talked to anyone,” Scorpius said quietly. “About any of this. And I think there’s a good chance it’s going to change the way you see me.”

His voice was shaking and cracking, and Albus needed him to at least smile again. His discomfort was infectious and seeing him so unhappy just trying to talk about something made Albus’ skin crawl.

“Are you still a dork?”

“Yes.”

“That’s your primary characteristic, so anything else is secondary.”

Scorpius chuckled anxiously, and busied himself with running his finger along the gilded letters on the book cover.

“I left because everyone was asking which girl I wanted to take to the dance,” Scorpius began. “And I left because I... don’t want to take a girl at all.”

“So go stag?”

“I...” Scorpius said, shaking his head, then took a deep breath and met Albus’ eyes, which clearly cost him a great deal. “Am not straight.”

Albus blinked several times in rapid succession and stared at him.

“I’m not sure if I’m bisexual or if I’m gay,” Scorpius continued, staring him down to assess his reactions. “But I’m definitely not straight.”

Albus continued blinking.

“Al?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yup.”

“Are you going to... say something.”

“As soon as I figure out what, I’m sure I will,” Albus said flatly.

“Okay,” Scorpius said calmly, but Albus noticed his hands were shaking. He stood up slowly, unsteady, and Albus looked up at him.

“I’m going to go back to the dorm,” Scorpius told him, gathering his things. “Because I decided a while ago that when I told you I’d give you some space to... process.”

“I don’t need -”

“But I do,” Scorpius said, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “So I’m going to bed because frankly just having that conversation was exhausting.”

He walked around the table and Albus’ eyes followed him, and when he passed Albus’ seat he reached out to clap him on the shoulder, but paused and thought better of it and dropped his hand before rushing from the library.

Albus turned and watched him leave, still in shock, and he stayed until Madam Pince kicked him out.

* * *

Scorpius was gone before Albus rose in the morning. While the others got dressed, Albus lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Did he care if Scorpius was gay (or queer, or whatever word he was supposed to use)? Not really.

Did he care that Scorpius hadn’t trusted him enough to talk about it? More than he felt he should have.

 _He’s my best friend,_ Albus thought. _I’d tell him if I’d realized something like that._

His mind wandered over the last few months and he realized he should have figured it out long before - that Scorpius had stopped talking about girls, and that he had chosen his words carefully whenever anyone brought up dating.

 _I feel so stupid_.

Albus rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, wanting to scream. He was a horrible friend to have let this go on so long.

Once Flint, Farley and Pucey were out of the way, Albus dressed quickly. He saw that Scorpius had forgotten his book - a worn copy of some old muggle book called ‘Great Expectations’ - and grabbed it before heading down to the Great Hall.

When he arrived, he saw Scorpius sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table, looking morose even at a distance. Albus started in his direction, but was cut off by Jenna, who was leaving from the Ravenclaw section.

“Good morning, Albus,” she said with a smile.

“Hey, Jenna,” he said distractedly. He looked down at her as she ran a hand up his arm.

“Walk me to class?”

“I can’t,” Albus said, slipping past her awkwardly. “I’ve got something to deal with, and I can’t.”

Jenna looked disappointed, but Albus didn’t stick around to find out. He headed down the length of the hall and when he arrived at Scorpius’ place, he saw his friend tense up without even looking from his plate.

“You forgot this,” Albus said, holding out the book. Scorpius looked at his hand, then up at him, meeting his gaze, and Albus smiled at him. Scorpius’ expression softened into one of relief, and Albus knew he didn’t need to say anything - that they didn’t need to talk about it again until Scorpius was ready to.

There was no way he could ever be angry, irritated, or otherwise unhappy with Scorpius Malfoy for more than a superficial second, and his heart warmed just a bit when Scorpius reached up and took the book from his hand slowly and smiled at him, genuinely, and started rambling about what a good book it was.

There was nothing in the world, Albus knew, that could separate him from his best friend.

* * *

Though relieved, Scorpius was still awkward for the rest of the week. When the weekend rolled around, he was exhausted. He’d barely spoken to Albus in the evenings, and was often asleep (or pretending, Albus suspected) by the time Albus came back from study sessions and Quidditch practice. O.W.L. prep was getting to Scorpius, and his voice was cracking from nerves in every other sentence.

Albus realized, to his alarm, that it was actually quite endearing.

“Do you want me to bring you back anything?” Albus asked, pulling on his shoes. Scorpius had resigned himself to skipping the Hogsmeade trip, much to Albus’ chagrin.

“You’ll have more fun with Jenna anyway,” Scorpius said with a smile. “And I don’t want to go down there and wander around alone, so I’ll just take a nap.”

“You look like you need it,” Albus confessed. He had dark circles under his eyes that rivaled his father’s after a long week at the Ministry. Harry Potter was a workaholic, and sometimes it took a very physical toll.

“Gee, thanks,” Scorpius said, grabbing his book. He looked morose, and Albus hoped some sleep would do him good. “Just go on. Have fun on your date.”

“See you when I get back.”

* * *

Albus sat in the Three Broomsticks. Jenna had about half his attention while she rambled on about the theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration.

Her voice was pleasant, but it wasn’t enough to hold Albus’ attention. Ever since Scorpius’ revelation, he’d been thinking a lot about what his friend must be going through, and it led him to consider who he was actually attracted to.

Jenna was nice. She was pretty and she was smart and open about liking him. And yet the few times she’d kissed him had felt like nothing more than practice, and he felt no different after than he had before, besides being more anxious. He never knew where to put his hands, and when she looked up at him after, he always felt like he’d messed up somehow.

While she started on about the links between Transubstantial Transfiguration and Catholic wizards in the 1600s, Albus let his eyes roam across the tables. He recognized nearly everyone in the room to some degree and knew them at least a bit.

One by one, Albus tried to picture himself with each person in the room. He saw Maggie chatting with a Hufflepuff boy he’d once helped up off the floor during a Defense lesson. He tried to imagine himself kissing Maggie and playing with her hair, but it didn’t seem right, so he tried to picture the same thing with the boy, and while he didn’t object to the idea on principle, nothing seemed to fit.

He spotted Ainsley Greengrass, a pretty Hufflepuff with light brown hair and a freckled nose, across the room chatting with David Tremlett, and he tried to picture himself holding either of their hands, imagining a scenario when it didn’t matter that Tremlett had once joined a chant about the ‘Slytherin Squib’ and his failures as a Potter in Albus’ second year.

None of the images he conjured were unpleasant, but none of them felt right or did anything for him physically or emotionally. He looked back to Jenna, who was explaining that some ancient Pope had actually pioneered some of the theories they were studying, and he rested his chin on his hand, watching her talk and sip her Butterbeer.

She was nice. She was pretty. And it wasn’t enough to make him want to kiss her beyond a cursory curiosity, and he realized he’d never had more than a perfunctory desire to date or be with anyone.

He stared at her as she talked, lost in his own thoughts, until she smiled at him warmly, and he realized he looked like he’d actually been listening.

“What do you think?”

“Huh? About what?”

“About the conspiracy?”

“I... think it’s very interesting in theory, but we’ll never know for sure, will we?”

Jenna smiled and nodded in agreement, and Albus busied himself with drinking his Butterbeer.

* * *

Albus dumped a bag of Honeydukes chocolates and pepper imps on Scorpius’ bed, rousing him from what appeared to be a very deep slumber. Scorpius groaned and turned over, but when he saw the array of sweets now spread across his comforter, his sleepy expression broke into a grin.

“This is entirely unnecessary,” he said, ripping open a chocolate bar anyway.

“It’s entirely necessary,” Albus assured him, only half present. “You need a pick-me-up.”

“This is maybe enough to get me through to exams,” Scorpius said. Albus pulled off his shoes and his jacket and threw them on the floor before crawling into his bed. It was only late afternoon, but he was exhausted and in no mood to discuss the virtues of the pepper imp. Again.

“Glad I could help,” Albus said, drawing the covers over his head.

“Are you okay? Did your date go well?”

“She loved it,” Albus said, hoping the subject would be closed.

“Oh, that’s good, Al,” Scorpius said through a mouthful of chocolate. “I’m happy for you. You deserve someone who can make you happy.”

Albus turned his back to the rest of the room and curled up against his pillow. He wasn’t sure that he deserved much of anything, and even if he did, he wasn’t even sure he cared.

* * *

Just as Scorpius was starting to re-emerge from his shell, Albus withdrew. Into the middle of the week, Albus was sullen and spent most of his time alternating between studying and staring around classrooms and the Great Hall with an intensity that bordered on resentment.

“Are you okay?” Scorpius asked eventually as Albus stared at a group of Ravenclaws.

“I’m fine,” Albus said in a tone that would convince no one.

Albus became so sullen by Thursday that Scorpius had wholly convinced himself that Albus’ change in demeanor was his fault. He shuffled back from Dueling Club after suffering a defeat from Rose - all because he couldn’t concentrate when Albus was avoiding him.

 _You knew this would happen_ , said a voice in the back of Scorpius’ mind that sounded not unlike he imagined the Scorpion King would sound. _You told him you’re queer and now he wants nothing to do with you, and now you can’t focus and you’ll fail all your O.W.L.s._

Scorpius shook his head quickly as if that would shake off the thoughts. The halls were nearly empty, but Scorpius felt he needed to be alone - to think, and maybe dive into a book to get his mind off things.

* * *

Albus was reclining on the fireplace sofa in the Slytherin common room. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have taken up all the space, but he wanted some room while he thumbed through his Potions notes from the beginning of the term. All around him, other Slytherins were clustered into small groups, reviewing their notes feverishly to free up time on the weekend. It didn’t matter if they were studying for exams, O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s - the air was thick with anxiety and the smell of parchment and coffee.

He was half reviewing and half daydreaming when he heard someone come up beside him. Albus looked up to see Scorpius’ tall frame standing over him, and he smiled immediately.

“Hello.”

“Hey,” Scorpius said, his voice tight. “I’m headed to the dorm. It’s too loud in here.”

“Alright. Everything okay?”

Scorpius nodded, but his face was pale and Albus noticed he was picking at an orange stain on the sleeve of his jumper anxiously.

“Can I borrow your Charms notes from earlier?”

“Sure, they’re in my bag.”

Albus moved to disentangle himself from his notes and books to find his bag, but Scorpius motioned for him to sit still. He knelt beside the sofa and rummaged in Albus’ bag until he found what he needed and stood, the weight of his own messenger bag, laden with books, nearly throwing him off balance.

“Thanks.”

Scorpius turned and walked away, and Albus knew what the stain was. It was pumpkin juice and the scent it left in his wake mingled with the distinct smell of leather from his bag and books. Old books with cracked spines, well-loved and well-read through the years.

Albus turned, wide-eyed, staring as Scorpius disappeared down the hall, and his imagination wandered to the one place he hadn’t let it go and he realized very quickly that the sight of Scorpius Malfoy’s pale, stressed, tired face was the only thing that had made him smile all day.

He looked around the room again, at the faces of more than half the Slytherins at Hogwarts, and recognized why he wasn’t attracted to any of them, even in the most basic sense. They all had the same fundamental flaw.

They weren’t Scorpius Malfoy.

He sank back into the sofa in the strangest state of shock he’d ever experienced. Nothing had happened. Nothing had changed, and yet he was devastated.

An invisible vice tightened around Albus’ ribs and each breath hurt. He thought of Scorpius, sitting in the back of the library, avoiding everyone because he felt _different_ and separated - Scorpius who had been his only friend and the best friend he could imagine for five years. Albus had let that happen because he hadn’t stopped to think that maybe he didn’t need to look very far to find the person he wanted to be with.

_But Scorpius never said he was actually interested in anyone._

But he didn’t have to, did he? He laughed at Albus when he wasn’t funny, had never missed a Quidditch match, and made sure Albus was prepared for every test. Scorpius had always taken care of him, and Albus wasn’t very good at returning the favor.

He combed his memories of the last year - of Scorpius’ sudden quietness, the way he’d watch Albus instead of joining him, and he remembered Scorpius’ face when he couldn’t conjure a Patronus.

Everything made sense.

Albus moved to stand but hesitated once his feet were on the floor.

_Are you sure?_

Albus took a deep breath.

 _Don’t hurt him_.

Albus got to his feet, summoning what Gryffindor bravery he had. He looked around to make sure each fifth year boy was accounted for, and grabbed his bag from the floor before striding down the hall.

When Albus opened the door, he was met with a Scorpius that looked about as nervous as he felt, pacing back and forth. When he closed the door and dropped his bag, Scorpius jumped and stared at him.

“I just don’t want anything to change,” Scorpius blurted out. He looked upset. His face was red and he was talking with his hands as his voice cracked. “I had to be honest with you. I had to tell you the truth, but I don’t want it to mean anything changes between us.”

Albus stared at him. He didn’t know what he’d been hoping for, but it hadn’t been this. Scorpius paced back and forth, gesturing frantically.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter, does it? That I’m gay? It shouldn’t. You’re friends with Rose and she’s a girl and she likes boys, but I suppose that’s different since she’s your cousin and all, but it shouldn’t matter, right? I mean, I thought about how I’d tell you for weeks, and I did it badly, I know and I’m so sorry, but it’s just finals are hard this year and there’s all the tests and this was just one more thing to think about and I just cracked, okay? I’m sorry.”

Albus watched him, feeling more and more stupid by the moment, and smiled. He felt a bit teary as Scorpius continued ranting, and Albus wondered how on earth he hadn’t seen what Scorpius had been trying to tell him for months.

 _I guess I am my father’s son_ , Albus thought. _The general lack of introspection_.

He was calm and nervous and excited all at once and opened his mouth to speak when Scorpius took a breath, but missed the brief window. Albus folded his arms and waited.

He had time.

“It’s scary. I’m already so different and I didn’t want to subject you to the rumors, not until I had to so I waited. Why make you deal with it? It’s my problem, it doesn’t seem fair.”

“It’s _our_ problem,” Albus interrupted. Scorpius was impossible when he got worked up like this, and normally it worried him, but at that moment, Albus could have found anything about Scorpius captivating.

Scorpius looked at Albus, very panicked. He knew he should stop talking but the words just wouldn’t stop coming out. Everything he’d been trying not to talk about just flowed from him as he paced back and forth near the foot of his bed.

Albus had been so distant so suddenly, and Scorpius _knew_ it was because he’d finally fessed up. Albus had worked it out - he had to - that Scorpius had _feelings_ for him, but it was better than the two of them just drifting apart. At least this was honest. At least Scorpius could live with this.

“I just let everyone down in all these little ways,” Scorpius continued, thinking of his grandparents and how his father kept saying _she_ when he talked about Scorpius’ future significant other. Everything felt like lying, but Scorpius thought he could have handled that if only Albus had understood. He didn’t need his feelings to be returned - he’d made his peace with it - but he also couldn’t bear the thought of losing his best friend.

“And I didn’t know if I’d be disappointing you too -”

He’d barely perceived Albus moving towards him - maybe that was why he made a good Seeker - and he had only half a second to process Albus grasping his hand roughly and placing his other hand on his cheek before Albus’ mouth was on his, forceful but gentle and warm.

 _Oh_.

Albus kissed him and it was better than every book he’d read, every pepper imp he’d eaten, and warmer than the best spring afternoon out by the lake. Scorpius let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and kissed him back, gripping his hand tighter and stepping closer, unwinding and melting and nearly falling apart as Albus _kept kissing him - this wasn’t a mistake._

Scorpius wasn’t sure how, but he had one hand in Albus’ hair and the other on his back where he found the hem of his shirt and he ran his fingers across the skin just above his belt, which Albus seemed to like because he made a little noise that made Scorpius’ heart beat a little faster, which he didn’t think was possible or safe.

When Albus finally pulled away, Scorpius felt like he was coming up for air, but he didn’t want to open his eyes. What if Albus regretted it? What if it was some rash teenage impulse that had already passed?

_What if I’m not very good at this?_

_Please, please, please_ , Scorpius thought.

“Shut up,” Albus said. His voice was oddly thick, and Scorpius didn’t hate it.

“Just shut up, okay?” Scorpius felt Albus’ hand slide to the back of his neck and _no, this still wasn’t a mistake,_ but he kept his eyes closed all the same as Albus released his hand and wrapped his arm around Scorpius’ waist, sealing what little space had been left between them.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Albus said, and he sounded shaky and nervous - something Scorpius hadn’t heard often lately. “But I’ve never felt more relieved and... excited in all my life.”

Albus wasn’t prone to big, sweeping confessions lately, so when Scorpius opened his eyes and saw Albus staring back at him just an inch away, he knew Albus had meant every word.

Scorpius swallowed hard as Albus moved his thumb idly against his neck.

“I didn’t want to lose you.”

Albus stood up straightened and pulled back to brush some of Scorpius’ now-messy hair back from his face.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Albus assured him. “No matter what.”

Albus had been making a point with the first kiss, and Scorpius had a point to make too. He kissed Albus gently, carefully, with one hand on his chest and the other in his hair, and he was acutely aware that Albus’ messy locks were just as soft as they looked.

It should have been awkward, Scorpius realized. They bumped noses more than once, and Scorpius wasn’t sure what to do when Albus deepened the kiss, but he figured it out quickly because not doing so meant they would stop and that simply wasn’t an option.

Eventually, a bit of shock settled in and Scorpius pulled away and looked at him again.

“What’s happening?” he asked quietly.

“Well, I was over there,” Albus said, pointing to the door. “And you were having a nervous breakdown, so I kissed you and now we’re snogging in the middle of the dorm.”

Scorpius nodded, looking around. It seemed strange that the entire room looked completely normal when he felt everything had just changed.

“Okay,” Scorpius said slowly. “But why?”

Albus swallowed hard and Scorpius was pretty sure he had his answer, but he needed to hear Albus say it. He grabbed Albus by the arm and pulled him over to his bed, pulling the hangings to shield them from the door’s view before sitting down on the center of the bed with his legs folded. Albus sat beside him, facing him, and Scorpius wished he was a little bit closer.

Albus wasn’t avoiding his eyes, and even though it was difficult, Scorpius knew he needed to meet him halfway. He stared at Albus, watching as he struggled to find an explanation, reminding himself that it was important to breathe because if he didn’t, he’d pass out and never know what Albus was going to say.

“I care about you,” Albus said finally. “As... more than a friend. And I think I have for a very long time.”

Albus’ hands were shaking, so Scorpius took them both in his own and held them tight. If they were nervous, they could be nervous together.

“I never stopped to consider... before, that I could... I didn’t know how to think about…”

“Words, Albus. Use your words.”

Albus hung his head and took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and Scorpius felt his hands travel up to the stain on his sleeve where he’d spilled his pumpkin juice earlier. Albus plucked at it, thinking.

“Do you know what amortentia smells like? For me?”

Scorpius shook his head and Albus looked back up at him and smiled sadly.

“It smells like pumpkin juice and those leather school bags your dad keeps buying you. And it smells like books. Not parchment. Books. Old books.”

“Do I really smell like old books?” Scorpius laughed. Albus grinned and the tension broke as he held Scorpius’ hands again.

“You do,” Albus admitted. “And I love it.”

Scorpius looked down at their fingers and ran his thumb over one of the callouses Albus had earned playing Quidditch - the one every player got between their index finger and thumb.

“It smells like the Quidditch pitch and your soap for me,” Scorpius confessed. “It... smells like home.”

“Is that why you couldn’t talk about it?”

Scorpius nodded and Albus pulled off his shoes quickly before sliding closer beside him, close enough to wrap his arms around Scorpius’ shoulders and face him.

“How long?”

“Since the middle of last term.”

Albus shook his head.

“I had this massive realization out there that made everything make sense,” Albus said, nodding towards the door, “and I debated what to do and it was the longest three minutes of my life. And you’ve been feeling like this since last fall?”

Scorpius didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing and stared at his knees.

“I’m sorry,” Albus said softly. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to catch up.”

“It was so much more important that we stay friends,” Scorpius said. “I didn’t know how you’d feel if I told you I had a crush on you - but that doesn’t really seem like the right word.”

“I know,” Albus told him. “Lily has crushes. This is something different.”

Scorpius leaned forward and rested his head against Albus’ shoulder, suddenly very weary - like the exhaustion that followed final exams when he was relieved they were over. This, he thought, was what collapsing at the end of a marathon must feel like.

He thought of the night they found Lily in the corridor and how he’d felt, realizing exactly how much he cared about Albus Potter, and when he felt Albus scoot closer - if that were possible - and kiss the top of his head, Scorpius smiled to himself.

This was everything he’d wanted.

  
After a few minutes of quiet consolation, Scorpius looked up at Albus, who looked more calm than he’d seen him in days, and he suspected there was more color in his own cheeks than there’d been in ages.

“I didn’t think you were interested in kissing boys,” Scorpius said.

Albus grinned conspiratorially - the kind of grin that usually wound up with one of them in detention - and slid his hand around to brush the side of Scorpius’ face.

“I’m interested in kissing this one.”

And then he did just that for several minutes, and it was awkward not because they kept bumping noses or because Scorpius hadn’t had more than a chaste kiss in Hogsmeade that he’d all but forgotten, but because neither of them could stop smiling or laughing.

“I’m definitely going to fail my Transfiguration O.W.L.s.”

Scorpius jumped back at the sound of Flint’s voice near the door and Albus stared at him wide-eyed.

“What do we..?”

“I don’t -”

The door opened and Albus had only a second to decide. Scorpius looked scared, so he rolled off the bed and leaped onto his own as Flint and Farley came in.

Scorpius watched him, shaking his hair into something that looked more presentable. Albus immediately looked calm and collected, as if nothing out of the ordinary had been happening, and he greeted their roommates as they came in.

“Finally gave up studying?” Albus asked.

Pucey snorted.

“Only because we can’t see straight anymore and Farley here was about to have a nervous breakdown.”

Albus laughed and Scorpius stared at him, stunned.

_How on earth can he look so calm?_

He watched in awe as Albus bantered with them, talking about next week’s Quidditch match against Gryffindor and how tough they would be to beat.

While the others talked and got ready for bed, Scorpius moved around in a daze, and when the room started to go quiet as everyone settled in for the night, he climbed into his bed in a pair of fresh pajamas. He pulled the hangings until the only thing he could see was his desk and Albus’ bed.

Albus was stretched out atop the covers, and when everyone else had settled in, he turned on his side to face Scorpius, who was looking back at him. He couldn’t help but smile when Scorpius gave him a small, half-hearted wave, and he settled in facing his friend.

Neither of them knew what had just happened, but they fell asleep looking at each other and smiling all the same.

* * *

Scorpius stood at the foot of Albus’ bed, shaking his head. How he slept through their roommates’ rummaging about and getting dressed was something that defied explanation, but he’d managed to do it again as Flint and Farley called across the room, discussing the upcoming Quidditch Cup Final against Gryffindor and their mutual hatred for Arithmancy.

Scorpius, of course, barely heard them, because Albus was smiling in his sleep in front of him, and watching him twitch as he dreamed was far more demanding of his attention than anything else.

 _I’m ninety-nine percent sure last night wasn’t a dream_ , Scorpius thought.

“Our fearless leader said we’re going to have to have a long practice tonight,” Flint said. “There’s no way around it.”

“Is Albus ever going to wake up?” Pucey asked. “You might want to tell him.”

“Our Potions class isn’t until second period” Scorpius said. “I’ll get him out of bed and make sure he knows.”

Albus groaned and turned over in bed, still fast asleep.

Flint nodded. “Make sure he knows. I don’t think I’ll see him until later this evening.”

“I will.”

One by one, the other boys swept from the room and Scorpius stayed still, looking at Albus’ sleeping form tangled in his sheets and blankets.

 _Please don’t let this have been a dream,_ he thought for the tenth time. _And if it wasn’t, please don’t let him regret it._

He took a nervous breath and walked over to his bed where he sat down on the edge and shook Albus’ shoulder.

“Al? You gotta wake up.”

Albus shifted a bit, but didn’t wake.

“Al-bus,” Scorpius sang. “Al-bus, time for break-fast.”

“No,” Albus muttered.

A strange conversion happened on Albus’ face. First, he scrunched up his nose in protest to waking. Then, he opened his eyes just a bit, confused for a moment - clearly thinking with his brow furrowed. After a moment of mulling something over (Scorpius suspected what), his face slackened into a wide-eyed expression and he looked up at Scorpius.

“Did I eat something strange last night?” Albus asked. “Because I think I might have been hallucinating and I might need to go to the hospital wing.”

Scorpius raised an eyebrow, unsure if Albus was joking, but the look of mild panic on his face didn’t fade.

“No,” Scorpius said evenly. “You didn’t hallucinate anything.”

Albus sat up beside him and grinned. “Thank Merlin.”

Still, Scorpius kept his face even and blank as he looked at Albus.

“You don’t regret it? You’re not upset?” Scorpius asked. “Light of day and all... Because it’s okay. I’ll understand.”

“Are you joking?”

“No, not at all.”

Albus leaned forward and rested his chin on his knees, looking up at Scorpius expectantly. With the light filtering in through the black lake, the entire room was cast into a greenish glow that made Albus’ unusually bright eyes seem perfectly normal - like he belonged there.

“It honestly may have been the best twenty minutes of my life. Do you... are you having second thoughts?”

Scorpius shook his head quickly and smiled, blushing.

“Same.”

Albus grinned, and Scorpius felt himself calm so rapidly that he felt as if a fever had broken.

“So now what?” Scorpius asked.

Albus smirked. “Well, I’d like to kiss you good morning if that’s -”

Scorpius didn’t need telling twice. He cut Albus off with a kiss and Albus pulled him back into the bed, laughing, until Scorpius was hovering over him, their noses a centimeter apart.

“You’re very cute when you wake up in the morning,” Scorpius told him. “All messy and your cheeks are puffy. I thought it was going to drive me mad.”

“Yes, well you’re quite handsome when you’re studying,” Albus confessed. “Which is a shame, because I’m pretty sure I have license to interrupt you now.”

“Is that what this is?”

“License to interrupt?”

“Well, yes.”

“I don’t know,” Albus said.

“What... are we?”

Albus considered for a moment. Scorpius moved to lay beside him, and Albus turned so they were facing each other.

“Well,” said Albus. “I care about you. In a more-than-friends way.”

“Reciprocated.”

“Okay. Good. I also am not quite sure how my family would take this.”

“I am one-hundred percent not prepared for my father to know,” Scorpius told him. “I need to figure out how he’d feel about me... not being straight. I need to figure out how to tell him.”

“You can use the ‘g’ word or the ‘q’ word, Scorp,” Albus said.

Scorpius fidgeted with the edge of Albus’ pillowcase nervously.

“Well, yeah, but it still seems a bit strange to attach words to these things,” Scorpius said, his fingers working along the piping until Albus stilled his hand by holding it in his own.

“Okay. So we don’t use labels,” Albus said. “I think we can agree on that.”

“And our parents can’t know,” Scorpius reminded. “Mine or yours.”

“Which means that no one else can know, since we both have these last names we carry around.” Albus bit his lip. “This is a predicament.”

“Quite the quandary,” Scorpius agreed.

Albus fell silent, thinking. After so many agonizing months of trying _not_ to think about what a morning like this would feel like, Scorpius wasn’t sure he could trust his own judgment, so he stayed quiet.

“For now, let’s just be us. This,” Albus suggested, squeezing his hand. “And we’ll just see what happens.”

“That’s sounds like a great way for me to have an anxiety attack,” Scorpius muttered, and Albus smiled sadly.

“I guess it’s now my job to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Albus said. “Though, I think that’s always been my job.”

“Just like it’s mine to make sure you pass your O.W.L.s,” Scorpius teased. “Speaking of which -”

Scorpius looked at his watch and sighed.

“We have to go to breakfast and get ready for that Potions test.”

“That sounds like a terrible waste of our time,” Albus said, stretching out lazily and grinning again. “Let’s stay here.”

“That does sound lovely,” Scorpius considered. He thought about whether or not they could get away with it for a moment, then narrowed his eyes at Albus. “No.”

“No, what?”

“No. I’m not going to let us snogging make it easier for you to talk me into things.”

Scorpius scrambled out of Albus’ bed, despite his protests.

“Damn,” Albus said. “It almost worked.”

Scorpius smiled and threw Albus’ robes at his head.

* * *

“What the hell is wrong with your face?” Rose asked as Albus settled into his seat beside her at the start of class.

“What do you mean?” Albus asked, frantically feeling over his cheeks. “Do I have more spots? I’ve been using the medicine -”

“You’re smiling. That’s not something you do.”

Albus shrugged and pulled out his textbook. In his periphery he could see Scorpius sitting next to Maggie. He chanced a look over at him and saw that Scorpius too was grinning and that he and Maggie were chatting conspiratorially behind their cauldron.

Rose craned around Albus, following his line of sight.

“Something up with Scorpius?”

“Hm? What makes you say that?”

“You both look happy about something. Did you pull a prank on Hugo again? Because I told you - it’s not funny.”

“No,” Albus said quickly. “Nothing like that. Just... a really funny joke is all.”

Professor Slughorn called the class to order and everyone fell silent. Rose looked back and forth between Albus and Scorpius, skeptical. She watched as they met eyes and Albus ran his hand back through his hair blushing furiously and biting his lip to keep from grinning. Scorpius looked down, blushing.

“Finally,” she muttered.

Albus jumped and looked over at her. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”

Rose pressed her lips together in a hard line and busied herself with taking notes, hiding a smirk behind her substantial hair.

* * *

When Scorpius received an emergency owl from Maggie asking him to come down to the Quidditch pitch, he threw on his jeans and boots and headed down immediately, fearing that someone (Albus) was injured.

 _Typical_ , Scorpius thought. _I finally have Albus Potter kissing me and he gets himself killed in a freak Quidditch practice accident._

_He probably choked on the Snitch like his father._

Scorpius was relieved to find Albus, Flint, and Maggie in a heated argument with their captain, Killian Doge, about strategy with their planning chalkboard discarded in the grass.

“We have to devote at least one beater to protecting our Seeker,” Maggie demanded, stomping her foot. “If Albus isn’t given a shot then we might as well not be playing.”

“We can’t do that with Granger-Weasley _and_ Longbottom on the pitch,” Flint countered loudly. “They’ll run up the score before Al can even find the damn thing.”

“Give me _some_ credit,” Albus yelled over them, indignant. “If we’re lucky we’ll end the game in ten minutes.”

“Guys -” Doge attempted to interject, but was overridden by Flint.

“We all know that’s not going to happen,” Flint said. “But you’re on your own out there.”

Scorpius approached, hands in his pockets. “What’s going on?”

“Thank Merlin,” said Maggie. “Scorpius, can you please talk some sense into our Captain here?”

Albus grinned as Scorpius joined the circle and folded his arms across his chest.

“Malfoy,” Doge greeted him. “Potter and Goyle here say you’ve been discussing strategy with them all year and that you gave them that game-winning play from the Ravenclaw match.”

“Well... we’ve talked a bit,” Scorpius said, shuffling his feet. “I mean, sometimes I have ideas.”

“Well, what’s your take on handling Granger-Weasley, Longbottom, and Patil?”

Scorpius looked to each of them. He’d heard enough of the argument to know where Albus stood, but agreed with Maggie.

“I think Albus is pretty fast, but he’s going to need some coverage,” Scorpius said, trying to find some middle ground. “Keep the beaters on the Gryffindor chasers and have your weakest chaser run interference around Albus. As long as you have a player between Albus and the Gryffindor beaters they’ll have a problem getting a clear shot.”

“But who’s our weakest chaser?”

“Me,” said Maggie. “It’s me. We all know it.”

“Don’t say that,” Flint said. “You’ve both improved so much since the start of the year.”

“But for the purposes of this game, I’m still the least useful chaser. And that’s fine. Albus can fly higher over the stadium and as long as I’m between him and the Gryffindor beaters, they can’t get a good shot.”

“And if it’s not working after the first twenty minutes, call a time-out and reassess,” said Scorpius with a shrug. “It can’t hurt to try.”

Doge looked between all of them, and Scorpius met Albus’ eyes. It seemed like a good enough compromise that didn’t leave him entirely exposed on the pitch.

“Potter? Do you agree?”

Albus thought for a minute before nodding.

“Fine,” said Albus. “But you get to tell Graves and Podmore that they’re on their own out there to score.”

Doge agreed and they broke up, grabbing their brooms from the ground. The others were back in the air a moment later, but Albus hung back.

“I don’t think we’re good enough,” Albus told him. With Albus in his Quidditch boots they were exactly the same height and Scorpius smiled and met Albus’ gaze.

“More than half of the team is playing their first year,” Scorpius reminded him. “It’s a miracle you made it this far.”

“I guess so,” Albus agreed.

“Albus!” called Flint.

“You better get back up there,” Scorpius said.

“I can’t believe we missed dinner just to bicker about coverage,” Albus grumbled, grabbing his broom from the ground.

“Don’t worry,” Scorpius told him. “I brought your cloak with me so we can get down to the kitchens if you’re out here too late.”

Albus looked at him, agape but smiling.

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“Thief,” he mockingly accused. “I’m so proud.”

* * *

Scorpius watched the last hour of Quidditch practice from the stands, alternating reading and watching Albus. He remembered their disastrous first flying lesson when Albus had been unable to motivate the broom to even wiggle, and now he’s was in the air, flying like it was second nature. He watched, amused, as he raced Farley form one end of the pitch to the other, just happy to see Albus smiling and comfortable.

Once practice had ended, he waited outside the locker room for Albus to emerge, knowing he’d wait to leave last. The sun had set just after Scorpius had joined them and curfew for anything except the study rooms and the library was in only a few minutes. They might have time to get to the kitchens, but they certainly wouldn’t have time to make it back to the dungeon.

Scorpius waved goodbye to Maggie who hugged him in thanks for settling their debate. She, Farley, and Flint walked back to the castle together, and he wondered how long it would take them to figure out she’d chosen to go to the end-of-term party with Pucey.

Under normal circumstances, the pending tension in the dorm would have been the most interesting current social development, but Scorpius had other things on his mind.

Albus emerged from the locker room still in his uniform. He’d shirked the guards and robe and grass stains and dirt were immediately visible all across his jumper and pants.

“Have you ever played without making a mess of yourself?”

Albus looked down at the state of his clothes.

“Not really,” he admitted, brushing off the loose debris. “I have a tendency to make risky dives when the Snitch is close to the ground.”

“Yes, I’ve seen a few of those,” Scorpius said contemptuously. “You’ve given me several small heart attacks. Probably taken at least a year off my life.”

“Don’t say that,” Albus said quietly, and Scorpius closed his mouth. Albus never said it, but the possibility of Scorpius carrying his mother’s blood curse was an unspoken concern they shared.

“Sorry,” Scorpius apologized.

“I just worry, you know?”

“I know you do,” Scorpius muttered. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

Albus surveyed their surroundings as the pitch’s main entrance closed behind the rest of the Slytherin team and waited a beat before stepping closer and taking Scorpius’ hand. Last night and in the morning, they’d been alone in the safety of their dorm, but now, Scorpius felt very exposed standing on the Quidditch pitch.

Albus toyed with Scorpius’ fingers as an awkward silence settled over them. Around them was a chorus of the nighttime insects coming out to play, and in the distance, the wind whistled through the trees in the Forbidden Forest.

“So...” Scorpius said. “We hold hands now.”

“I guess so.”

Albus laced his fingers with Scorpius’, who stared down at their hands, somewhat fascinated. He’d never really held hands with anyone, save for a moment or two on that one, ill-fated Hogsmeade outing.

“Should we go get dinner?”

Scorpius nodded and Albus gestured to his bag.

“Oh.”

Scorpius pulled the cloak out and it shimmered ever so slightly in the moonlight. Carefully, he swung it around both their shoulders and made sure it was secure before looking at Albus, who wasted no time in slipping a tentative arm around Scorpius’ waist, and he jumped a bit in surprise.

“No one can see us,” Albus assured him, chuckling nervously.

“I know.” Scorpius smiled sheepishly. “I guess this will take some getting used to.”

“We’ll figure it out together.”

“Like we’ve done everything else,” Scorpius agreed, raising a tentative hand to brush Albus’ disheveled post-Quidditch hair from his face, picking a blade of grass free before Albus leaned in and kissed him lightly.

“And summer is almost here,” Albus said optimistically. “I think my parents would like it if you came over.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Scorpius said brightly. “I think my father would be fine with you coming over to our place sometimes.”

“This... it’s going to be okay,” Albus said, more to himself than Scorpius.

“It’s going to be great.”

“I’m starved,” Albus told him, taking his hand as they started to walk from the pitch. “Let’s go find some dinner.”

* * *

Scorpius looked down at the field despondently as the Gryffindor team crashed to the ground and rushed into a loud, boisterous embrace at the center of the pitch. The screams of the Gryffindor fans were deafening as they echoed around the stadium, rushing down to the field to join their team.

Slowly, the Slytherin players landed, and Scorpius watched as Albus and Farley lined up with their teammates to wait for the customary handshakes that followed the game.

It took nearly ten minutes for the Gryffindor team and their loving fans to calm down enough to get the players in a line, and when they did, Scorpius noticed a stark contrast between the bouncing figures in red and the still, stiff figures in green.

“Well, they’re going to be cheery tonight,” Pucey said from Scorpius’ side.

“It’s going to be a long week with finals and _this_.”

He looked up at the scoreboard. It would have been better if Gryffindor had slaughtered them, Scorpius thought. Then, at least Albus wouldn’t feel like the loss was on him. He dove for the snitch with Slytherin down by only twenty, but the Gryffindor Seeker got their first. It was all over so fast that Scorpius barely saw what happened.

Scorpius and Pucey made their way down to the field with the rest of the disappointed Slytherins, several of whom were cursing Albus’ name.

“I don’t know why they let _Potter_ on the team.”

“It’s good that he’s different from his father, but it would have been nice if he’d actually gotten _some_ talent.”

It didn’t matter that Albus’ marks in class were solid, or that he wasn’t so rough around the edges anymore. He’d lost them the game and the next two weeks were going to be awful in the Slytherin dungeon.

“They’ll be out for him now,” Scorpius muttered to Pucey.

“I know,” Pucey said, looking around and following the snide comments. “We’ll have to keep an eye on him.”

 _I always keep an eye on him_ , Scorpius thought.

They walked onto the field where the Gryffindors were still celebrating, hoisting the Quidditch cup above their heads and passing it around. If they’d beaten anyone but Slytherin, he would have been happy to see Rose lifted upon their shoulders with the rest of the team, her red hair loose and wild and her smile broad.

But he knew Albus would be in a state and he couldn’t muster any happiness for her.

After a few minutes, the Slytherin team slunk out of the locker rooms one by one, disheveled and with their heads hung. When Albus appeared, he didn’t look up - he just clutched his broom and his gear bag and headed towards the exit.

Scorpius and Pucey ran over to meet them. Flint immediately started analyzing each moment of the game with Pucey, who listened quietly and offered commentary only when asked.

Scorpius fell in with Albus at the end of the line as Maggie started crying on her friend’s shoulder in front of them. The other girl wrapped her arms around her friend and they walked together, slowly, holding each other.

But Scorpius couldn’t do anything like that for Albus, could he? He looked over at him - at dirt smeared on his face and his green eyes downcast and hung his head too.

He’d almost gotten a whole two days of happy-Albus - the longest unbroken streak he’d seen possibly since they’d met, and he’d been the one making Albus happy. Losing the Quidditch Cup wasn’t enough to take that away from Scorpius, but it looked like Albus’ smile was gone for now.

“Al?”

“Yeah?”

He didn’t know what to say to cheer Albus up.

It’s not your fault? It was, to an extent.

You played well? He’d played _adequately._

It’ll be okay? The Gryffindors were singing behind them.

Scorpius leaned over as they exited the stadium and spoke quietly enough that no one could hear.

“You look really hot in your Quidditch uniform.”

Confused, Albus looked over at him. Scorpius nodded, feigning confidence, though he knew he was blushing just a bit.

“It’s true,” he added. “I don’t even think anyone was looking at the game. They were too busy looking at your backside.”

Albus stared at him for a beat as they started up the long path to the castle, and slowly broke into a laugh that made Scorpius smile, satisfied.

“Maybe that’s just you,” Albus said. Maggie’s friend glared at them over her shoulder, but Albus didn’t care. He shook his head. “You’re very strange, Scorpius.”

“I will seduce you with my awkwardness,” Scorpius declared quietly and Albus grinned at him.

“Done.”

* * *

Albus alternated between depression at the loss of the Quidditch Cup, anxiety as their O.W.L. week began, and his new and intense fascination with snogging his best friend. By the middle of the week they had only a few exams left, and Scorpius insisted on spending every free moment in the library for last minute studying.

“I don’t know why you’re so concerned about the History of Magic exam,” Albus told him. “You know so much about it that _I’m_ confident I’ll do well.”

“I don’t talk about it that much,” Scorpius muttered.

“You were muttering about Bathilda Bagshot in your sleep last night,” Albus said flatly.

“I don’t think that had anything to do with history,” Scorpius said, scribbling on his parchment.

“Oh. I guess I should have woken you.”

Scorpius shrugged, nonchalant. “I dream about it more when I’m stressed.”

“So no Malfoy the Unanxious?”

“He’s taking a brief holiday,” Scorpius said, closing one book and looking around for another. “He’ll be back once exams are over.”

“Albus?”

Albus did a double take upon hearing his name.

“Oh. Jenna. Hi.”

Scorpius looked over his shoulder. Jenna approached, her blue tie hanging loose around her neck. In the rush of becoming, well, whatever he’d become with Albus, he’d completely forgotten that he’d been flirting with the Ravenclaw.

“Malfoy, hello,” she said politely, looking down at him.

“H-hi.”

Albus glanced at him for only a second, but his expression was clear. He did not want to have whatever conversation was to follow.

“I haven’t seen you these last few days,” Jenna said, leaning on the table beside Albus’ seat, looking down at him. “I hope you weren’t hiding because of that silly game.”

“The Quidditch match?”

“Yes. I didn’t go, but I heard about it.”

Scorpius raised an eyebrow at her back. He was wholly removed from her line of sight, but he knew Albus could see him perfectly.

“Well, it wasn’t great,” Albus admitted. “But no, I haven’t been hiding.”

“I’d been hoping to see you,” Jenna said. Scorpius watched as she rested her hand on his shoulder, then let her fingers roam down to his tie where she toyed with the knot and made a very important discovery.

He was a far more jealous man than he’d anticipated.

“Well, here I am,” said Albus awkwardly.

“I was beginning to wonder,” Jenna began, and Scorpius knew what was coming but was powerless to stop it. “Are we going to the end of term dance together? I was assuming -”

Scorpius stopped listening and sank down in his chair. He’d had nearly a week with Albus which was more than he’d hoped for, but there was no way he could compete with Jenna Greene and her long chestnut hair and _those legs,_ especially when he knew Albus had liked her.

“Sorry,” Albus said. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“Oh,” said Jenna, sounding about as shocked as Scorpius felt. “Well, okay. Are you going home early?”

“No.”

Jenna stood from the table, clearly confused. Albus just stared at her intently, and she seemed to take the hint.

“Well... okay, then. I guess I’ll see you around.”

Scorpius was certain no one had ever said no to Jenna Greene and as she walked away, Scorpius caught a glimpse of her confused face as she shook her head.

Albus picked up the notes he’d been reading and resumed his previous studying as if nothing had happened.

“Albus?”

“Yes?”

“Did you just decline an invitation to a dance?”

“Yes.”

“From an actual girl?”

“Yes.”

“Because of me?”

“Obviously.”

“But you liked her.”

“Did I ever, really?” Albus asked no one. He looked at Scorpius, who was leaning into the table, watching him closely. “Are you really going to make me say it out loud?”

“Say what?”

Albus sighed and put the parchment down before folding his hands on the table and leaning in so Scorpius could hear.

“I like you more,” Albus said slowly. “I like you more than anyone else in this school - anyone else I’ve ever met, really. So I’m not going to go to the stupid dance with anyone but you, and since we’ve taken that off the table, I’m assuming we’ll just spend the evening with the common room to ourselves and you’ll read until you pass out and I’ll have to drag you to bed half asleep.”

Scorpius stared at him for a beat.

“You’ve really thought this through.”

“I was anticipating this conversation,” Albus said. “I hadn’t sought her out, but I was hoping she wouldn’t do it in front of you.”

“Why?”

“Well, I didn’t know what she’d say and I don’t like seeing you upset.”

Scorpius looked down at their messy table. He was touched, but didn’t know how to explain to Albus that turning away a girl he’d liked meant so much.

Albus didn’t need an explanation, he just gave Scorpius one of those soft smiles that drove him mad and went back to his reading.

Scorpius glanced over his shoulder. The late hour had driven most of the students back to their dorms, and they were already in one of the smaller recesses they’d grown attached to while hiding from bullies in their first year.

He weighed his options. He could keep studying the material he’d been pouring over for days, or he could snog his pseudo-boyfriend/best friend in the back of the library.

Scorpius grabbed Albus’ hand from the table and pulled him up, ignoring his tiny yelp of surprise, and dragged him back into the forest of old, dusty shelves where the damaged books were kept.

He’d chosen the latter.

* * *

Scorpius was looking over the notes for his last test of the year while munching on a piece of toast absently. Beside him, Albus was half asleep, clutching a mug of coffee with both hands, and Scorpius kept elbowing him to keep him from nodding off.

“Drink up,” he instructed. “Test starts in an hour.”

“Can I just take the failing mark and go back to bed?”

“Not a chance,” Scorpius said. “Your mum would have both our heads - yours for failing and mine for letting it happen.”

Albus grumbled and took another long drink from his mug.

It had been a long, trying week of tests, studying, and jeers from other Slytherins. After a year of relative peace from the bullying, Scorpius was surprised that their irritation with Albus spilled over onto him, and he found “Son of Voldemort” written in dark ink on his favorite notebook. After that, they decided to keep to themselves as much as possible until the term ended.

Scorpius looked up as the owls came in for the morning, delivering care packages to tired students. He always loved watching the owls come in and seeing them greet their humans. So many of them were friendly and affectionate and, if he was lucky, he’d get to see one of the excited first years squeal over seeing their family’s pet _and_ receiving a gift from home.

He was surprised when his family’s owl, Noctua, flew towards him and nearly landed on his plate. Albus jumped in surprise and spilled coffee on his jumper.

“Oh, damn.”

“Sorry,” Scorpius said, patting Noctua on the head. She was a regal Northern White-Faced owl his father had brought back from some excursion and he’d never seen another like her at Hogwarts.

“Hello, love,” he greeted her. “What do you have for me?”

Noctua held out her leg and Scorpius untied the attached letter. She looked at him and offered an expectant hoot. He offered her a bit of his toast and let her contentedly perch on his shoulder while he ripped open Draco’s letter.

 

> _Dear Scorpius,_
> 
> _I do hope your O.W.L.s have been bearable at the very least and that you have not let yourself become too worried. I know you have done an excellent job and I am very proud of all the hard work you have put in this year - which is exactly why I am writing to you._
> 
> _After you enjoyed our impromptu trip to Paris (or at least seemed to - you may have been humoring me), I started planning a trip to many of the major wizarding capitals and magical sites around the world. There are some fascinating places you have not yet visited, and I think this summer would be an excellent opportunity to see some of the places you have been reading about in person. We will spend the summer in some of the finest wizarding establishments and you will have the chance to see first-hand some of the most fascinating historical sites._
> 
> _Unless you object, we will depart a few days after you return from Hogwarts. Let me know if you have made other plans._
> 
> _Love,_
> 
> _Draco Malfoy_

“What’s wrong?” Albus asked through a mouthful of eggs.

“Oh. Nothing.”

“Your face says differently.”

“My dad. He planned a long trip for us this summer.”

Scorpius looked up at Albus and was both saddened and satisfied to see that he was upset. Noctua’s talons dug into his shoulder and Scorpius was reminded of her obsession with the Malfoy hair when she started plucking at his temple.

“How long a trip?”

“The whole summer,” Scorpius told him. “He wants to take me to all the major wizarding establishments and historical sites around the world.”

He had to admit, it sounded fascinating. There were so many places they hadn’t visited while Astoria was alive, simply because venturing too far from Saint Mungo’s was a risk, and Scorpius knew his father had missed out on this important rite of passage during the Second Wizarding War.

“The _whole_ summer?”

“I can tell him I don’t want to,” Scorpius said quickly, pointing. “It says so right here.”

Albus took the letter and read it for himself, and Scorpius watched his expression change from one of irritation to sad acceptance.

“You should go,” he said finally, passing the parchment back.

“But we just started... _this_.”

Albus nodded and took his hand underneath the table.

“I know. But it’s your father and I can tell you want to go.”

“And I can tell you’re upset about it.”

“Of course I am,” Albus admitted. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go. It’s a great opportunity, and look! He’s catered it to your freakish love of history.”

Scorpius glared at him. “There’s nothing freakish about respecting our magical roots and how they’re intertwined with the muggle world, Albus.”

“Spoken like a true geek,” Albus said with a sigh and a sad smile.

“But it’s the whole summer.”

“I know. And we’ve gone four whole summers before writing to each other -”

“It’s different and you know it.”

“I do, but I also know you love your dad and you don’t get to spend much time with him,” Albus said evenly. “He gets three months with you and we’re here the rest of the year. And you should go.”

“But I’ll miss you,” Scorpius admitted, holding Albus’ hand tighter under the table. Noctua climbed down his arm jovially and started picking at his discarded crusts.

“I’ll miss you too. It’s not even three whole months, is it?”

“No. But I’ll miss your birthday.”

“You’ve missed the other four too,” said Albus. “This is the first year we might have gotten our parents to let us visit.”

“But -”

“No,” said Albus. “You need to go with your dad. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

Scorpius thought of an entire summer abroad with his father, and the idea was lovely. It would be the first time they’d be together for such a long stretch, and after his mother’s death and the talks they’d had in Paris, it seemed especially important.

But so did being with Albus. The few short weeks he’d been gifted weren’t enough and he couldn’t fathom not seeing him until September. Whatever they’d become was new and fragile - he couldn’t risk breaking it with a long absence.

Albus, as usual, knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I’ll still be here when you get back,” Albus said. “I promise.”

“Are you sure it won’t change anything?” Scorpius asked quietly.

“It won’t for me, as long as you don’t go chasing other wizards in Spain or wherever you’re going,” Albus teased.

Scorpius smiled and shook his head.

“Only if you don’t go chasing after Jenna or her brother.”

Albus laughed, scratching the top of Noctua’s head with his free hand.

“Deal.”

Scorpius grabbed a quill and ink from his bag and scribbled a reply on the back of Draco’s note.

 

> _Dad,_
> 
> _A trip with you sounds wonderful. I can’t wait to see you on Saturday._
> 
> _All my love,_
> 
> _Scorpius_

He tied the note to Noctua’s leg carefully.

“Take that back to dad, will you?” he asked her, giving her water from a nearby goblet. “And give him an extra peck for me.”

Noctua gave him a hoot of thanks and took off, flying up past the floating candles and through one of the small openings near the ceiling.

* * *

O.W.L.s were done and both Scorpius and Albus were exhausted. Without the added excitement of the dance, they let themselves collapse on their beds, weary after packing up their things, while their roommates shuffled about, tossing their belongings haphazardly into trunks and bags while getting dressed for the event.

“I can’t believe you got Maggie to go with you,” Farley grumbled at Pucey, who, Scorpius noticed, looked quite pleased with himself.

“We’re just going as friends,” Pucey said. “It’s not a big deal.”

Flint grumbled a protest or a curse - Scorpius wasn’t sure and he caught Albus trying not to laugh.

“So you two are just going to stay here?” Farley asked.

“Yes,” said Scorpius with relish. “I’m at an excellent part in my book.”

He held up his open copy of _Dracula_ and Farley and Flint joined in an eye-roll.

“Seriously?”

“Nerd.”

He caught Albus smiling affectionately at him when no one was looking.

“Albus?”

“I’m going to head down to the kitchens and grab dinner in a bit, and then I’m going to sleep.”

“What ever happened to you and that Greene girl? I thought you were seeing her?”

“She’s not my type,” Albus said nonchalantly, and Scorpius hid his smile behind his book.

“Fine, you two stay down here and be boring,” Farley said, pulling on his robes. “Don’t wait up.”

“Don’t plan on it,” Scorpius confirmed, lazily turning the page as the three filed out happily.

Albus stretched on his bed and yawned, rolling over onto his stomach as their voices faded down the corridor.

“We will have to go down to the kitchens eventually,” Albus said.

“I know, but I’m so comfortable right now.” Scorpius rested his head back against his pillow and sighed, letting his book fall against his chest. “Why is it that I’m always more tired after finals than during?”

“Sense of relief. Or in your case, accomplishment,” Albus replied. “I set an alarm for when the dance ends. We have the dorm to ourselves for a while.”

“I’ve noticed,” Scorpius said. “What do you want to do?”

“I have some ideas,” Albus said, grinning and climbing from his bed.

Scorpius raised his eyebrows.

“Al, I’m not sure -”

“No, no!” Albus said quickly. “That’s not what I meant! Ideas involving clothes.”

Scorpius regarded him skeptically. “Do tell.”

“Well, we could just spend some time together... not worrying if anyone sees us. I mean, it would be nice to just hang out without hiding and without trying to act like we’re just mates...”

Albus trailed off, his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth and his heels like he always did when he was uncomfortable, and it dawned on Scorpius what he was trying to say.

“Albus Potter, are you trying to ask to _cuddle_ without saying the word _cuddle_?”

Albus looked around awkwardly, then nodded.

“Yes. Exactly.”

Scorpius shook his head, smiling, and slipped his bookmark between the pages before tossing _Dracula_ onto his bedside table.

“Come here.”

Albus crawled across him and settled onto the bed next to Scorpius, kissing him in the process before draping his arm across Scorpius’ midsection and resting his head against his shoulder.

“Is this okay?”

“This is _great_ ,” Scorpius said enthusiastically. “I didn’t figure you for a cuddler.”

“I’m not,” Albus said. “Or I didn’t know I was until right now.”

He smiled up at Scorpius, who suddenly felt very warm and content.

“I’m going to miss you,” Albus said.

“I’m going to miss you too,” said Scorpius. “But it’s not that long. And I’ll write to you and tell you about all the cool places I visit.”

“Good, because I’ll be stuck at home,” Albus mumbled. “Lily’s actually kind of excited about it. She has it in her head that we’re going to go flying every day and explore the forest around the house since mum and dad will let us out on our own after a whole year of me _not_ going back in time.”

“I doubt my dad will be letting me out of his sight at all this summer,” Scorpius said. “But that’s not a bad thing. I like spending time with him and I know he must be lonely during the term.”

“And then next year shouldn’t be too bad,” Albus said. It helped him to think of sixth year instead of focusing on the long, dull summer he had ahead of him. “No major tests. Just normal Hogwarts.”

“When has Hogwarts ever been normal?”

Albus chuckled and turned his face into Scorpius’ shirt. He’d never been this soppy and he didn’t know how to do it elegantly, if there even _was_ a way to feel like this and be graceful about it. He’d worried for a long time about Scorpius being his only friend - he’d be so alone if anything ever happened to him or, Merlin forbid, he fell ill like his mother - but now he was attached on an entirely different level. Oddly enough, the only thing that quieted his fears was Scorpius himself.

He wanted to stay awake - to make the most of the last little bit of time they had before summer started - but Albus’ eyelids were heavy and he could hear Scorpius’ heartbeat slowing down as he drifted off. The last thing he felt before falling asleep was Scorpius wrap his arm tighter around his shoulders and turn to kiss the top of Albus’ head.

* * *

“Tell mum and dad I’ll be out in a second,” Albus called to Lily and Rose as they rushed from their shared Hogwarts Express compartment. Frustrated, he closed the door behind them, listening as the other students made their way to the car exit.

“Sorry about them,” Albus muttered to Scorpius, who slung his bag over his slumped shoulders. “I’d hoped we’d get a compartment to ourselves.”

Scorpius shrugged, smiling lightly.

“They’re your family,” he said. “They wanted to see you.”

“Well, I think they like you too, now,” Albus said as Scorpius took his hand. “Which is convenient, given the circumstances.”

“It’s not like they _know,_ ” Scorpius said, wrinkling his nose. “Though I do have reason to believe Rose suspects.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Albus said, his voice tight. “I’ll avoid the subject.”

Scorpius smiled sadly, truly wishing for the first time that they hadn’t made the decision to wait. Saying goodbye would have been much easier on the platform.

Suddenly, Albus wrapped his arms around Scorpius tightly and pulled him into a fierce and desperate hug that knocked the air from his lungs for a moment.

“Oh,” Scorpius said, surprised, before burying his face in Albus’ shoulder. “You better write back to me.”

“You’re the one who avoided me at Christmas.”

“And now you understand why,” Scorpius said.

“Yeah, I do.”

Albus pulled back and smiled sadly and Scorpius felt an odd tightness in his chest just before Albus kissed him just long enough for him to consider never getting off the train, and Scorpius wound his hand around the back of his shirt.

When they broke apart, Scorpius kissed Albus’ forehead - something he’d decided he quite liked doing - and dug up the fondest smile he could muster.

“Come on,” Scorpius said. “They’re waiting for us.”

Albus nodded with a deep breath and Scorpius straightened the collar of his shirt unnecessarily before releasing him to wrench the door open and head out of the train.

By the time they exited, the platform was chaos with all the students pulling their newly-retrieved trunks toward trollies. Albus spotted James along the edge of the train with the rest of his family, and saw that he’d already found his trunk and had stacked it up with the rest.

Lurking - or maybe just observing - at the back of the Potter-Granger-Weasley clan was Draco Malfoy, still in a horribly out-of-place black ensemble. He looked at Scorpius and saw that he had spotted them too and placed a wary hand on his shoulder, ushering him along the train.

“Albus!” Ginny cried, and he smiled in spite of himself. When he reached her, Ginny threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

“We were beginning to think you two had missed the train,” Harry teased.

Scorpius moved through the crowd carefully, offering polite greetings until he reached his father, who was wearing the most genuine smile he’d seen in a very long time.

“Hi, dad,” Scorpius said, letting himself be drawn into a tight hug.

“Hello, son,” Draco said, holding him for a beat. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Scorpius could tell he meant it, and it made him smile as Draco accepted Scorpius’ trunk from James and Rose, who had brought it with the remainder of their things.

“Thank you,” Scorpius said to James who nodded politely.

“Are you ready to get going?” Draco asked. “We have some last-minute preparations and I want you to look over our trip itinerary to make sure I’ve covered everything.”

Hermione smiled beside Draco.

“You sound like me planning a trip,” she admitted.

“Dad likes to be prepared. I get it from him,” Scorpius told her. He looked back to Draco. “Just one second and we can go.”

He set his bag down atop his trunk and turned to Albus, whose father had just released him from an embrace.

No one would think anything of them hugging goodbye, Scorpius thought, and he gently tapped Rose’s shoulder until she stepped out of his way. Albus met him halfway and hugged him tight, and Scorpius whispered in his ear -

“Meet you back here September 1st?”

“Can’t wait,” Albus replied.

They released one another well before they wanted to, and Albus gave him one of those up-to-no-good grins.

He stepped back toward Draco, catching Rose’s smirk and quickly looking away from her.

“Let’s go,” he said to his father, brimming with excitement.

He looked back one last time as Draco ushered him toward the Floo connection, and saw that Albus was still watching him over Rose and Lily’s heads. As reluctant as he was to leave, he knew the summer held some exciting things, and he was confident that in a few short months, he’d be back on this very platform and Albus would be looking at him exactly the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're not too sick to your stomach after all that sweetness (because I am a little bit).
> 
> 'Seasons' will begin on the other side of 'Quietly' soon. In the meantime, come by and say hi on [Tumblr](http://ijustwalkintomordor.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> See you soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in in this work. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.


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